Dead Men may keep quiet, but Disney execs will tell a tale as long as it makes them richer; so, to add yet another installment to this slowly stalling franchise is a no-brainer for the wealthiest mouse in the world.
The first two were original stories with exquisite filmmaking complimented by an extraordinary cast. The third, was a solid end to the trilogy, a bit long in the tooth, but exciting and engaging none the less. That's when the good came to a world's end and the truly stranger tides swept us into muddy waters. The fourth film was so bad, it felt like visual torture, utterly silly and incomprehensibly inferior in every way to its predecessors.
Did the fifth entry fare any better? Only in comparison to the dribble that number four provided. The most tragic element in the totality of this series is that the cunning, enigmatic, and iconic Jack Sparrow, Depp so carefully and imaginatively honed, is long gone, replaced by a clown; a ridiculous caricature of its former self, reduced only to ineffective comic relief. Although this outing brings back many of the thrills and spectacular stunts and cinematography of the first two, the story is simply a regurgitation of the original film. In addition, gone is the charm of Barbossa's' legendary villain, replaced by a ho-hum, uninspired baddie who relies too heavily on CGI and very little on charisma or personality. The veteran cast barely "phones in" their performances while the newbies try their best to etch their own signatures on what feels like a failed attempt at a reboot. Even the return of two beloved characters feels forced and uneventful by credit's end.
Hold on to your Tricorn, because a six is seriously hinted at. Once can only hope that will be the last voyage of the weary Pearl.
2 out of 5 Kernels; Sometimes it's just best to find safe harbor, drop anchor, and be grateful for the oceans already charted.
This is my first and only blog attempt that will include; movie reviews, personal thoughts, some humor, and, most importantly, a collection of the concepts and stories that I have both published and are currently developing for future publication. You are welcome to comment on everything, however, I request that all comments are absent of vulgarity or obscenity and demonstrate genuine critical thinking and honest interpretation. Thank you.
Thursday, June 29, 2017
#JustaQuickiePlease: Wonder Woman (2017) Review
Superhero with a shield stops evil Nazi scientist from using a supernatural like weapon against the world assisted by a ragtag bunch of hooligans and one of the heroes dies in a plane crash. No, it's not what you think, well, maybe it is.
Yes, it's DC's First Avenger, the very first action movie with a strong female lead, unless you count the Alien franchise, Rogue One, The Force Awakens, Terminator 2, Kill Bill, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Xena, oh, and the original Wonder Woman series. Without a doubt, visually stunning, but after that, it's pretty much a rewrite of Captain America with the only differences being an island, a touch of Greek mythology, and enough slow motion photography to make Zack Snyder wet himself. Gal Gadot is an amazing Diana Prince, unfortunately, the writers and director absolutely fail her with this stale, unoriginal, and effects-heavy farce that reminds us why Marvel continues to rule the comic book cinematic universe. The only saving grace, what little there is of it, is the relationship between Pine and Gadot, which looks and feels completely genuine. The remaining cast is laden with lackluster, caricatures that bring very few laughs and insignificant value to the story or performances.
2 out of 5 Kernels: This could have been DC's big win, the start of a major comeback, instead it simply becomes the best of the worst. Which is kind of like being excited about stepping in the smallest turd at the dog park.
Yes, it's DC's First Avenger, the very first action movie with a strong female lead, unless you count the Alien franchise, Rogue One, The Force Awakens, Terminator 2, Kill Bill, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Xena, oh, and the original Wonder Woman series. Without a doubt, visually stunning, but after that, it's pretty much a rewrite of Captain America with the only differences being an island, a touch of Greek mythology, and enough slow motion photography to make Zack Snyder wet himself. Gal Gadot is an amazing Diana Prince, unfortunately, the writers and director absolutely fail her with this stale, unoriginal, and effects-heavy farce that reminds us why Marvel continues to rule the comic book cinematic universe. The only saving grace, what little there is of it, is the relationship between Pine and Gadot, which looks and feels completely genuine. The remaining cast is laden with lackluster, caricatures that bring very few laughs and insignificant value to the story or performances.
2 out of 5 Kernels: This could have been DC's big win, the start of a major comeback, instead it simply becomes the best of the worst. Which is kind of like being excited about stepping in the smallest turd at the dog park.
Wednesday, June 28, 2017
#DuskSeries won its first award!
#DuskSeries won its first award...
#DistinguishedInternetSeries...
My deepest gratitude to my amazing cast and crew, I couldn't or wouldn't want to do this without them! They are the heart and soul of this project!
So truly humbling and such an honor to be recognized by a panel of your peers!
Special thanks to Joseph Stamey for organizing such an awesome event!
And, Cory Willis (#OsiriusGreen) for all of his support and promotion!
Got to meet some remarkably talented people...
The legendary Papa Stro "Maestro" Rob Rellum...
(www.thestro.com)
The absolutely unflappable and undeniably talented MsESippi McQuown and her and Tornado Bait (www,tornadobaitband.club)
The magnificent minstrel Antler Hill (Neil Lee Gtriffin) (www,antlerhillmusic.com)
Visionary director and producer of the Carrington Event...
Rob Underhill
(http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2247254/)
The new face of comedy...
Actor Vaughan Wilson from One Tree Hill and his new series Vaughan coming to Netflix, Hulu, iTunes, and Roku...
(http://igg.me/at/vaughan2017)
Rising star...
Actor Ryan Williams...
The Vaughan Series co-star...
And, last but certainly not least...
The graceful and gifted actress Anna Elizabeth....
Of The Vaughan Series and the new dramatic indie film The Hopeless Journey (coming soon)...
Represented by Mary Grace of Canari Management, LLC.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/canarimanagement/
#Vaughan #Netflix #Hulu #iTunes #Roku
#HoplessJourney #Sundance
#CarringtonEvent
#Upallnightfilmfestival
#SteampunkMidatlantic
#Dusk #DuskSeries #Darknesswillfall #vampire #werewolf #witch #magic #supernatural #paranormal #series #webseries #livestream #FacebookLive #DieforMal #FentoninAction #HailtotheChief #BitchhasBite #FallenAngel
#DistinguishedInternetSeries...
My deepest gratitude to my amazing cast and crew, I couldn't or wouldn't want to do this without them! They are the heart and soul of this project!
So truly humbling and such an honor to be recognized by a panel of your peers!
Special thanks to Joseph Stamey for organizing such an awesome event!
And, Cory Willis (#OsiriusGreen) for all of his support and promotion!
Got to meet some remarkably talented people...
The legendary Papa Stro "Maestro" Rob Rellum...
(www.thestro.com)
The absolutely unflappable and undeniably talented MsESippi McQuown and her and Tornado Bait (www,tornadobaitband.club)
The magnificent minstrel Antler Hill (Neil Lee Gtriffin) (www,antlerhillmusic.com)
Visionary director and producer of the Carrington Event...
Rob Underhill
(http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2247254/)
The new face of comedy...
Actor Vaughan Wilson from One Tree Hill and his new series Vaughan coming to Netflix, Hulu, iTunes, and Roku...
(http://igg.me/at/vaughan2017)
Rising star...
Actor Ryan Williams...
The Vaughan Series co-star...
And, last but certainly not least...
The graceful and gifted actress Anna Elizabeth....
Of The Vaughan Series and the new dramatic indie film The Hopeless Journey (coming soon)...
Represented by Mary Grace of Canari Management, LLC.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/canarimanagement/
#Vaughan #Netflix #Hulu #iTunes #Roku
#HoplessJourney #Sundance
#CarringtonEvent
#Upallnightfilmfestival
#SteampunkMidatlantic
#Dusk #DuskSeries #Darknesswillfall #vampire #werewolf #witch #magic #supernatural #paranormal #series #webseries #livestream #FacebookLive #DieforMal #FentoninAction #HailtotheChief #BitchhasBite #FallenAngel
#DuskSeries won its first award!
#DuskSeries won its first award...
My deepest gratitude to my amazing cast and crew, I couldn't or wouldn't want to do this without them! They are the heart and soul of this project!
So truly humbling and such an honor to be recognized by a panel of your peers!
Special thanks to Joseph Stamey for organizing such an awesome event!
And, Cory Willis (#OsiriusGreen) for all of his support and promotion!
Got to meet some remarkably talented people...
The legendary Papa Stro "Maestro" Rob Rellum...
(www.thestro.com)
(www.thestro.com)
The absolutely unflappable and undeniably talented MsESippi McQuown and her and Tornado Bait (www,tornadobaitband.club)
The magnificent minstrel Antler Hill (Neil Lee Gtriffin) (www,antlerhillmusic.com)
Visionary director and producer of the Carrington Event...
Rob Underhill
(http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2247254/)
Rob Underhill
(http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2247254/)
The new face of comedy...
Actor Vaughan Wilson from One Tree Hill and his new series Vaughan coming to Netflix, Hulu, iTunes, and Roku...
(http://igg.me/at/vaughan2017)
Actor Vaughan Wilson from One Tree Hill and his new series Vaughan coming to Netflix, Hulu, iTunes, and Roku...
(http://igg.me/at/vaughan2017)
Rising star...
Actor Ryan Williams...
The Vaughan Series co-star...
Actor Ryan Williams...
The Vaughan Series co-star...
And, last but certainly not least...
The graceful and gifted actress Anna Elizabeth....
Of The Vaughan Series and the new dramatic indie film The Hopeless Journey (coming soon)...
Represented by Mary Grace of Canari Management, LLC.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/canarimanagement/
The graceful and gifted actress Anna Elizabeth....
Of The Vaughan Series and the new dramatic indie film The Hopeless Journey (coming soon)...
Represented by Mary Grace of Canari Management, LLC.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/canarimanagement/
#Vaughan #Netflix #Hulu #iTunes #Roku
#HoplessJourney #Sundance
#CarringtonEvent
#Upallnightfilmfestival
#SteampunkMidatlantic
#Dusk #DuskSeries #Darknesswillfall #vampire #werewolf #witch #magic#supernatural #paranormal #series #webseries #livestream #FacebookLive#DieforMal #FentoninAction #HailtotheChief #BitchhasBite #FallenAngel
#HoplessJourney #Sundance
#CarringtonEvent
#Upallnightfilmfestival
#SteampunkMidatlantic
#Dusk #DuskSeries #Darknesswillfall #vampire #werewolf #witch #magic#supernatural #paranormal #series #webseries #livestream #FacebookLive#DieforMal #FentoninAction #HailtotheChief #BitchhasBite #FallenAngel
Wednesday, June 21, 2017
#JustaQuickiePlease: The Space Between Us Review
Another example of the continued Hollyweird focus on YA dribble and churning out yet another predictable, stale, and disingenuous tale of adolescent love and loss. A kid born and then orphaned on Mars somehow is able to communicate, in real time, with a teenage outcast on Earth and then finds some ridiculously implausible way to travel to his homeworld to go on a sappy and silly journey of self-discovery.
Asa Butterfield, most notably of Ender's Game, delivers his typical range of robotic naivety and nothing more while Britt Robertson provides us an unoriginal take on the bad girl with a heart of tarnished gold. Throw in Gary Oldman with a Sprint-worthy "phone in" performance and Carla Gugino traipsing through the movie without purpose or prowess and you have a truly snooze-worthy ensemble. It's like they found a bunch of leftover effects and sets from the Martian and said, "what the hell," let's save some dough and make a chick flick for 12-year-olds.
1 out of 5 Kernels; my daughter forced me to at least score it a one and seeing how she is 11 and the target audience for this farce, I figured I'd give them the Mulligan.
Asa Butterfield, most notably of Ender's Game, delivers his typical range of robotic naivety and nothing more while Britt Robertson provides us an unoriginal take on the bad girl with a heart of tarnished gold. Throw in Gary Oldman with a Sprint-worthy "phone in" performance and Carla Gugino traipsing through the movie without purpose or prowess and you have a truly snooze-worthy ensemble. It's like they found a bunch of leftover effects and sets from the Martian and said, "what the hell," let's save some dough and make a chick flick for 12-year-olds.
1 out of 5 Kernels; my daughter forced me to at least score it a one and seeing how she is 11 and the target audience for this farce, I figured I'd give them the Mulligan.
Tuesday, June 13, 2017
#JustaQuickiePlease: A Monster Calls Review
Based on the novel by the screenwriter, this feature finds the remarkable balance that few other films come close to; a perfect blend of subtle character development, an exquisitely told story, and visuals that not only dazzle but perfectly accentuate an already stellar script. This is Bayona' signature piece; a heartwrenching, yet thoroughly engaging tale of the family bond, pain of hopelessness, the deception of perspective, and coming to terms with loss. If you were to separate the scenes and play them out of context, one would think the director's purpose was to mock convictions and truth but in its proper totality we are treated to a modern day Aesop's fable, teaching us that there is always a story behind a story, a truth patiently waiting to be discovered behind our dogmas.
The entire cast is astounding with Weaver and Jones delivering utterly genuine performances. It is, however, young MacDougall who owns this production, literally reaching into the minds and souls of the audience and methodically tearing out our collective innocence exposing our deepest sorrows. His mix of naivety and bravery are both inspiring and tormenting to behold. Neeson's portrayal is equally profound, as both comforting sage and relentless antagonist. With a twist administered with a respectful care, this is how you define all that cinema aspires to be.
5 out of 5 Kernels; it is only when the credits roll, that you realize, emotionally, you have been just as much a part of the story as each and every character.
The entire cast is astounding with Weaver and Jones delivering utterly genuine performances. It is, however, young MacDougall who owns this production, literally reaching into the minds and souls of the audience and methodically tearing out our collective innocence exposing our deepest sorrows. His mix of naivety and bravery are both inspiring and tormenting to behold. Neeson's portrayal is equally profound, as both comforting sage and relentless antagonist. With a twist administered with a respectful care, this is how you define all that cinema aspires to be.
5 out of 5 Kernels; it is only when the credits roll, that you realize, emotionally, you have been just as much a part of the story as each and every character.
Gotham Grade: A+++++
Gotham Grade: A+++++
3 hours of Burtony Battony Gotham Goodness...
Prepare yourself for the spoilers...
1. Mad Hatter:
No one can fight the virus...
Jim Gordon:
Hey, Harvey...
Hold my beer...
2. Bullock is the Samwise Gamgee of this show...
3. Riddle me this...
What do peas, Elsa, and Enigma now have in common...
4. What Tabby did to Barbara was just shocking...
I can harley believe she did that...
5. That Solomon Grundy reference was Gold..en...
6. And...
That's how you make Fish-Ka-Bob...
7. That Selina scene though...
Devo would have been so proud...
8. How many times are we going to stab Alfred in this series...
9. Yo, Ollie...
Now, that's how you do Ra's al Ghul and the Lazarus Pit...
10. That last moment...
If you didn't pee yourself a little...
You are not a real Bat Fan...
#BatmanBegins #DarkKnightRises #Gotham #Fox #ThisShowisEpic #BurtonsBaby #HellerRules
3 hours of Burtony Battony Gotham Goodness...
Prepare yourself for the spoilers...
1. Mad Hatter:
No one can fight the virus...
Jim Gordon:
Hey, Harvey...
Hold my beer...
2. Bullock is the Samwise Gamgee of this show...
3. Riddle me this...
What do peas, Elsa, and Enigma now have in common...
4. What Tabby did to Barbara was just shocking...
I can harley believe she did that...
5. That Solomon Grundy reference was Gold..en...
6. And...
That's how you make Fish-Ka-Bob...
7. That Selina scene though...
Devo would have been so proud...
8. How many times are we going to stab Alfred in this series...
9. Yo, Ollie...
Now, that's how you do Ra's al Ghul and the Lazarus Pit...
10. That last moment...
If you didn't pee yourself a little...
You are not a real Bat Fan...
#BatmanBegins #DarkKnightRises #Gotham #Fox #ThisShowisEpic #BurtonsBaby #HellerRules
Saturday, June 10, 2017
The #DuskSeries will be at #SteampunkMidAtlantic
Just confirmed!!!!!!!
#SteampunkMidAtlantic
#Dusk #DuskSeries #Darknesswillfall #vampire #werewolf #witch #magic #supernatural #paranormal #series #webseries #livestream #FacebookLive #DieforMal #FentoninAction #HailtotheChief #BitchhasBite #FallenAngel
#SteampunkMidAtlantic
#Dusk #DuskSeries #Darknesswillfall #vampire #werewolf #witch #magic #supernatural #paranormal #series #webseries #livestream #FacebookLive #DieforMal #FentoninAction #HailtotheChief #BitchhasBite #FallenAngel
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