#JustaQuickiePlease: Colossal

I think this film lasted all of two weeks in the theater and what a sin that was.  Mix an Indie feel with a love for the Godzillaesque monster movies of our youth, a well-crafted script that is filled with heart and subtle surprises, and stellar performances from its cast and you have one quite remarkable little flick.   In addition, this director is able to shift from light hearted, to heartfelt and hopeful to outright dark, with a fluidity rarely seen in cinema today.   It's hard to label, as it would diminish the totality of the production, so think something between a dark comedy and conscientious drama with a smattering of surprisingly sophisticated effects that enhance not overpower this thoroughly engaging and satisfying take on an utterly unique science fiction concept.  Hathaway is brilliant,  Sudeikis is genuine and unnerving, and the remaining ensemble compliments each other with a definitive sincerity.   In a quagmire of the wrote and repetitive, it's refreshing to find a clarity of creativity and true talent.  4 out of 5 Kernels; this was truly a colossal success.

#JustaQuickiePlease: King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

Director Guy Ritchie decided to take Conan the Barbarian,  The Lord of the Rings, Gladiator, Assassins Creed, and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and combine all of those plotlines and concepts into one film and then add in the most CGI PlayStation 4 graphics he could find.   So, you can only imagine how that worked out, and I would seriously recommend the imagining part over wasting one minute on this effects heavy, performance light, medieval disaster.   The cast oversells every line of dialogue as if they are paid by commission only and, like CW's Arrow with its incessant flashbacks, Ritchie spends more than half the film either rehashing or piece mealing dream sequences together in a futile attempt to make up for the absolute stale and predictable plot.  The real star of this flick is the sword, yes, the sword, which is too, a hodgepodge of borrowed ideas, lying somewhere between Final Fantasy, Star Wars, and Frozen, if you can believe it.    There are better adaptations of this twice told tale, as long as you multiply the twice by about ten.   1 out of 5 Kernels: got to give them credit for the best use of stylized contact lenses, that has to be some kind of record.