One Minute Movie Review: Henry's Crime

There are many obscure films out there awaiting to be discovered and enjoyed. Some are regular demonstrations of the art of film making. This is not one of them. Instead, this movie defines why some obscure films, are just that, obscure. Starring; Keanu Reeves, who either phoned his performance in, long distance, or his character is supposed to be that dull and melancholy, James Caan, the one redeeming aspect of the film, and Vera Farmiga, who is unrecognizable because I had no idea who the hell she is. The chemistry between Reeves and Farmiga is about as exciting as Reeves' overall performance, apparently if he is not dodging bullets from Agent Smith he positively lacks no cinemantic presence at all. However, Caan attempts to carry the film, but the weight of this dud is just too much to bear. This film tries and fails to create a story within a story. Interlaced within the plot of a man falsely accused of robbing a bank and then decides to do just that, is the lead characters, Reeves and Farmiga, participation in a play adapted from Chekov's final story the Cherry Orchard. I believe, the director actually attempts to reflect the play's storyline of a man who captures the love of a woman only to break her heart and steal everything she owns with the relationship between the two. The humor is non existent, and you can only take Reeve's mugging of the camera and Farmiga's profanity so long before you feel queasy. It just became tedious, in fact, it felt as if the run time kept expanding. However, if you are in need of a decent sleep aid, better than Sominex, this is the ticket, as I observed with my wife who only awoke to have me stop the film briefly, and give our children their nightly baths. This is to be missed. 0 and out of 5 Kernels, the only thing these bank robbers stole was about an hour and 48 minutes of my life.