One Minute Movie Review: Jack and Jill

 Velveeta has less cheese in it than this disaster. Sandler out does himself by combining every comedic cliche, fart joke, and ill timed slapstick routine that he can muster and regurgitate them into one non funny, badly edited, poorly written cinematic pile. I guess he has exhausted every other been done to death idea, so the Bosom Buddy routine was inevitable, and as expected, it quickly becomes an epic fail. His female persona is annoying and unlikeable, and how he got Judy Gold to allow him to use her likeness is beyond me. The interactions of the remaining cast are dull and predictable, like the ending, which is becoming an unfortunate staple of all his movies. Yet, in this Titanic of a failure he manages to wrangle in some considerable star presence both from the world of cinema and sports who apparently decided to whore themselves out, including, amazingly so, Depp and Pacino. There isn't a single redeeming quality of this film, especially their brief but ridiculous performances. Pacino is one of my heroes, so this was particularly painful for me. In the end, the result of Sandler's creative team maybe the best argument against the legalization of marijuana. I beg you, Adam, please stop, before anymore have to suffer. 1 out of 5 Kernels: a few SNL cameos and one, juvenile, but funny bathroom scene kept this picture from the giant goose egg.