One Minute Movie Review: Breaking Dawn Part 1

First, and foremost, I want all to understand, my only purpose in viewing these movies, is to make my wife happy. As most of my fellow, loving husbands will agree, when the wife is happy, everyone is happy. So expectations for this film were lower than Lindsey Lohan's sense of self and tolerance for alcohol. With that said, I will try to be as subjective as possible. As far as the franchise goes, this is the best of the four, which may not be saying much at all in comparison. This installment could very well stand alone among its predecessors. It possesses; engaging storytelling, fluid, natural, and sometimes raw, performances, effective chemistry among its characters, and action sequences that contain decent levels of testosterone. Now, keep in mind, this is the series that reduced vampires to brooding, love lorn, "sparklers, and werewolves to whiny, clumsy, consistently shirtless, back street boys. The main wolf, Jacob, obsessed with Bella, is bordering on a restraining order. The most applaud worthy aspect of this adaptation is the superior make up effects that gradually transform the young, naive, and lovestruck Bella into literally death warmed over and one particularly gruesome birthing scene. The special effects used to create the lycans is sleek and stylish, as well, although they are apparently the most repulsive aspect of the film to the original author. For a fourteen year old girl, this is a masterpiece. A 30 something wife thinks this is one of the best films she has ever seen. A 40 some male grins and bears it, thanking God for smart phones with Internet access that, fortunately, work in the theater. Stay for the credits, as the Voltaire make an appearance, which was a little goofy. The final installment is due out in a year, which for the fans is probably a lifetime. 3 out of 5 Kernels: yes I gave it a three, I am just as surprised as your are, if only they did not make them sparkle, geesh!