How would the Man of Steel fair against the monolithic monster
known as the Hulk? Who would win in the ultimate battle to the death?
Can an alien from Krypton defeat a human super exposed to Gamma
radiation? Can the green powerhouse driven by rage and pain destroy
the quintessential purveyor of truth, justice, and the American way?
Let's match them up, power to power, strength to strength and see which legendary
comic book hero can achieve victory in one of the greatest what if battles of
all time.
The two columns
below list the offensive and defensive strengths of both
warriors. Let's take a look at how they stack up.
The Breakdown:
Superman
Offense:
1) Unimaginable
strength.
I mean this guy
can actually move planets back into alignment.
2) Flight.
Both an offensive
and defensive ability can reach speeds capable of reversing time.
3) Heat Vision.
Can burn or melt
just about any object.
4) Freeze Breath.
Ice, ice baby, he is
able to freeze an object whole, throughout.
Defense:
1) Invulnerability.
The guy is
literally indestructible.
2) X-ray Vision.
Trust me he will
see you coming, every time.
3) Super Hearing.
And hear you to.
4) Yellow Sun
recharge.
One quick trip
into space and the batteries get a extra dose of juice.
Vulnerabilities:
1) Kryptonite.
His home world debris
gives off a radiation that is lethal to its last and greatest citizen.
2) Lead.
Can't see through
it, but it's not exactly an optimal choice material for body armor for any
opponent.
3) Red Sun Rays.
The yellow sun
recharges, a red sun has some nasty side effects.
4) The Ideal Good
Guy.
Normally not a
weakness, but in battle, Superman's black and white over grown sense of responsibility
and justice could be a potential hazard creating hesitation in combat that
could prove fatal.
5) Costume.
The brightly
colored duds don't exactly scream covert, and the cape is a substantial liability.
The Breakdown:
Hulk
Offense:
1) Unimaginable strength.
He's called the Hulk, enough said.
2) Gigantic Jumps.
Tall buildings, whatever, the green
giant can skip over the Grand Canyon like it's an end table.
3) Sonic Boom.
A version of the clap
that can wipe out a city block.
4) Energized by rage:
The angrier he gets, the deader you
do.
5) Hulk has total control.
No remorse or memory, at
times, the Hulk strikes with full force and little or no inhibition.
Defense:
1) Invulnerability.
Bullets, bombs, like paint ball
ammo filled with Nerf.
Vulnerabilities:
1) He's a nerd when he's not angry.
Without stress, this guy is as harmless as Justin Beiber at a
nursing home.
2) No Brain no Gain.
Pure brute in his true form,
not exactly a master strategist in battle.
There have been so many incarnations and
adaptations that to make this work, we have to pour all their mythological
and serial aspects into each champion and then create
a warrior scenario that will work on every level. With that
said, we have Superman in all his glory, unstoppable alien gladiator and the
unadulterated Green Hulk, with pure muscle and little humanity. Let the
deadliest battle in earth's history begin.
While flying over a small industrial
complex he believes to be a potential weapons factory run by the notorious
Lex Luthor, his arch nemesis, Superman notices one of the building collapsing
suddenly in a plume of ash and debris. As he swoops in closer he is
shocked to see an incredible green behemoth standing in the rubble.
Superman circles the monster who snorts wildly as he
catches the caped hero out of the corner of his eye. Filled with rage
after being attacked by a band of hired thugs while his alter ego, Dr, Bruce
Banner, while foolishly investigating the facility for S.H.E.I.L.D alone.
Hulk can only perceive this brightly colored intruder as a threat.
He growls and then roars mightily to scare off the flying pest.
Superman is nearly blown back by the sheer volume
of the beasts vocalization, he stabilizes his flight pattern only to barely avoid
a large chunk of wall that hurdles past him. Before he can
react, several mangled bodies streak past him like morbid projectiles.
Superman jets to a higher altitude to avoid the horrific barrage only to
realize the roaring giant can match his ascension with each hurdling body.
Superman speeds across the sky in an attempt to flank his new found rival.
He rushes toward the green mass and impacts him only
to ricochet of the mammoth and bound hundreds of feet in the opposite
direction. The man of steel lands back first on the hard ground knocking
the wind out of him. "What is this thing made of, " he laments
trying to catch his breath? Before he can gather his thoughts, the Hulk
bounds toward him leaping and landing with full force on top of the hero
driving his entire body deep into the hard earth. The remaining crater is
massive and Hulk roars in victory.
It is short lived as the Hulk is suddenly
lifted and hurdled into the sky with extreme force sending him two football
fields in length from the crater but unlike his nemesis the Avenger
lands firmly on his feet. Superman arises from the crater, suit tatter,
but his spirit and strength undaunted.
He locks onto his enemy and fires his heat vision at full potency.
His aim is impeccable , and the Hulk is engulfed in
temperatures hotter than the sun. The Hulk screams and then claps his
hands together creating a sonic boom that rocks the entire area,
sending Superman's fire back at him and propelling him backwards into a large
boulder. His heat vision turned against him in the wall of power he is
blinded, and the impact with the boulder busts it into a million sharp
projectiles. Superman is down again, feeling a pain he is not accustomed
to.
The Hulk barrels toward his fallen foe again
and grabs him by his cape, swinging him violently and slamming him
into the ground, again and again. The air fills with a thick
cloud of dust and dirt. Hulk hurls the Kryptonian into the air as his cape
snaps off, jumps up, and punches him in the chest with all his might.
Superman rockets through the air and lands several miles from
the battle slamming the ground creating yet another spectacular crater.
He can barely lift himself back up, his strength waning he
hears his opponent bounding towards him the vibration of each step
shaking the earth around him. He raises his head and makes eye contact
with the green menace, mustering every last bit of energy he breathes in deeply
and waits. With the horror only feet in front of him, he exhales with all of his essence. The blast
of his freeze breath stops the Hulk in his tracks, freezing him in place in a
think mass of ice that surrounds him. The Hulk has been halted for the
moment. Superman again, ascends, and
begins to fly. He gathers momentum, slowly at first, rotating around the
area. With energy building, he reaches speeds above sound and then in a mighty
sonic boom be lines towards the frozen Goliath He strikes the monster
at full stride, shattering the ice cage and sending the Hulk miles away.
The impact sends Superman back, as well, but this time, he is able to
regain control quickly. The Hulk's body hits the ground with maximum
velocity, leaving the largest crater of the battle.
Superman knows he can not leave his enemy to
recover, so he speeds to the scene. The Hulk lifts himself from the
crater, panting and dazed. Another direct hit, Superman punches the green
hero in the head, then delivers a barrage of blows to his body. His speed
and agility is too much for the Hulk, he can not defend against the attack.
Superman grabs the Hulk and in a blink, lifts his foe high into the sky
and then descends at full speed driving the monster into the ground. The
impact can be felt for miles. Before he can reset the creature
miraculously bounces up and grabs Superman by the throat, slamming him into the
ground pounding the hero with a series of violent, massive blows.
Superman answers and the two brawl, old school, exchanging blow for blow.
The debris from the loose soil floor kicked up by the battle is so thick
the combat is barley visible. Cloaked in dirt the two strike each other
blindly each hoping to gain an edge but neither convalescing.
In a last ditch, Superman gives his assailant a
giant bear hug, his arms barely reaching around the Hulk’s massive torso and
lifts him into the air. His grip is not strong enough, though, and the
Hulk gets free sucker punching his foe one last time before he falls back to
the earth. The bonus for the Man of Steel, with speed on his side, he
reached over 1000 feet before the green terror broke loose, so again, the
monster falls hard to the ground. Too weak to continue, Superman retreats
to space in an attempt to recharge close to the Sun. The Hulk is sprawled
out, hurting, bleeding, his anger begins to fain to exhaustion. The toll
of the battle has reached its apex and the mighty Hulk begins to digress out of
sheer fatigue. His form returns to the diminished Dr.
Banner who can hardly remain conscious. In space, the rays of the sun
recharge Superman and he returns to earth to find his adversary's
transformation. He lands next to him, standing above him, ready to provide
the final death blow. But this is Superman, and to kill is not in his
nature. He lifts his almost lifeless opponent and flies away to the
nearest hospital. The threat has been neutralized, so any further harm
is unnecessary. Later Superman discovers the monster’s
history and heroics, satisfied with his decision to spare such a legendary
creature and good man. Banner awakes
days later in the local infirmary, confused but alive.
Winner: SUPERMAN
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