Tommy
Workola, the director of such non blockbusters as Kill Buljo and Dead Snow, and
if you haven't heard of either of those films you are in excellent company,
brings us his re-envisioning of the classic Brothers Grimm German fairy-tale.
That reboot includes one of the most poorly written scripts, requiring
excessive profanity just to keep it interesting, mechanized acting, and some of
the silliest special effects since the SYFY channel used balloons filled with
paint, in their made for TV masterpieces, note the sarcasm, in order to portray
exploding heads, and yes you read that correctly. Although the
premise is somewhat unique and intriguing, Workola does little to keep it engaging
or entertaining and based of his earlier cinematic incarnations there is little
guesswork as to why. It is astounding who Hollywood bank rolls now a days.
Jeremy Renner needs to seriously reconsider his agent's sanity as he
continues to take horrifically bad role after role ever since his brief stint
as the famed Avenger's archer and Gemma Arterton has all the charisma and talent
of day old bread. The remaining cast is
as effective in this celluloid train wreck. The special effects, as
mentioned earlier, are goofy, not on purpose, which is probably the saddest
part of this disaster as I am sure they were designed to carry the picture. This
was a nifty idea, given to the wrong person, a fate that befalls much of the
trash, that may have once been treasure, filling the screens of most movie
houses. 0 out of 5 Kernels: With the lack of originality in
Hollywood, I am almost certain we will see a Lucky Charms or Cinnamon Toast
Crunch movie in the very near future.
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