One Minute Review: The Pirates! Band of Misfits

Before I begin, my children thoroughly enjoyed this movie. Why, I will never understand, but maybe I do not need to. From an adult's perspective, this was a nonsensical shipwreck that tried too hard to be funny and witty. Why this film required two directors would normally defy comprehension, but the over complicated storyline muddying the waters of a typically straightforward idea, justifies it. I am generally a fan of the high brow style of humor rank in English comedies, but this just seemed wrote and boorish, using old hat slapstick and predictably goofy one liners to support an uninteresting plot line. But kudos to Peter Lord and Jeff Newitt for finding a way to work Charles Darwin into a pirate story, it does not work, but, wow, talk about pulling something out of the hind part of your anatomy. The animation is exquisite, and attention to detail is bar none, but it is not enough to give this albatross flight. It is only available in 3D, which begs the question, why, the effects are almost non existent. Until I saw the cost of my tickets and then realized, long ago, Hollywood figured out how to fleece doting parents. The only thing missing in the robbery was the gun, or flint lock pistol, in this case. Save it for Netflix or Red Box to avoid the same mugging. 1 out of 5 Kernels: Daddy thought it sunk before it left the harbor, the kiddies thought it was treasure island (forgive me Robert Louis Stevenson).