One Minute Movie Review: 47 Ronin

It is an incredible, almost unbelievable feat for a director to take a legendary saga rich in heritage, drama, suspense, and tradition and reduce it to two hours of depressive, poorly acted dribble that leaves the audience asking why they wasted their DVD rental.   Rookie helmsmen, Carl Rinsch, proves why he is just that, by taking a massive budget, access to the finest in GCI effects, an authentically casted ensemble and creates one of the biggest cinematic disappointments of 2014, possible the entire decade.    Reeves makes his return, in what could've, should've, would've been the Matrix meets Shogun sprinkled with a little of the Lord of the Rings.  Instead, he participates in this bland, uninspired retelling of one of the quintessential legends in Japanese culture and history.   His performance is only slightly lucid, utterly stale, with zero emotion or passion invested in his fictional addition to the story.  His peers are just as disconnected, with every scene involving action, suspense, passion, or tragedy voided by their lackluster, scarcely conscious, portrayals.  This should have been a film that mercilessly and relentlessly tears at the senses, but Rinsch managed to successfully declaw every element that would have stirred any engagement, excitement, or interest.   Even the magnificent backdrops, majestic cinematography, and exquisite costuming are muted by an inferior story and characterizations.    The only lesson learned here is the cost of following traditions designed to oppress a culture masquerading as honor and nobility all the while existing to control freedoms.    If you don't walk away appreciating democracy over totalitarianism and unquestioned hierarchy, then I can't help you.   Honor comes from living and loving with integrity, willing to sacrifice to protect and serve the ones you love, not from an unreasonable and absolute obedience to men who are so easily corrupted by power and selfish agenda.  0 out of 5 Kernels:   If Reeve and Rinsch's take on this pivotal Samurai tale were to be compared to the iconic swords they would have been as sharp as plastic butter knives, the greater honor would have been to never made this picture at all.