Friday, September 25, 2015
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Is it just me, or are these titles getting longer and longer; as if anyone who hasn't lived under a rock for the last decade wouldn't know that this is the third installment of this ridiculous YA dystopian franchise. Because if we called it The Hunger Games 3, or simply Mockingjay, it would be inconceivable that anyone would know that this next entry in Ms. Everdeen’s seemingly unending escapades. If this is the trend, then why not at least be honest in titling fare such as this. In that case; The Hunger Games Part 1: An Absolutely Depressing Sippy Cup of Turd Juice would indeed suffice to provide the potential audience member with enough "heads up," to know what this next to the last travesty is all about. Moreover, since we are on topic Hollyweird; this habit of unnecessarily turning trilogies into quadrilogies has to end. I have yet to see an example of when this asinine practice has worked out. Most result in an ambiguous and nonsensically drawn out first half; focusing on uninteresting minutia to spread thinner and already frail plot. And then, a disappointingly trivial second that either tries too hard but never truly reaches its potential or definitively proves any lack of it at all. Now that I have gotten that off my chest, let’s focus on this film shall we...hmm. The only plus is the quite effective and genuine method this series utilizes to provide a vivid portrayal of the pitfalls of socialism and progressive mentalities similar, but not as refined, as such classics as Animal Farm. Now, based on what I have read, that may be entirely accidental; but it is undeniably apparent unless one enjoys partaking in the refreshingly numbing nectar of ounces and ounces of liberal Kool-Aid. Other than that unintended analogy, this is a dark, dank, stale, and tiresome prolonging of this world-renowned dribble. The acting is so somber its cinematic Sominex. The action, when it comes in incoherently short spurts, is lackluster and offers no remedy for this cure for chronic insomnia. Moreover, finally, the plot, which largely focuses on fighting propaganda with propaganda, is simplistic but uninteresting. I presume there is some symbolism in that concept, but this feature is so bad, it is hard to muster any care by credits roll. 0 out of 5 Kernels; from their own script, and I paraphrase, "fire can either ignite a room or suck all of the oxygen out of it." With that; the boredom this picture generates is suffocating!
Tuesday, September 8, 2015
You know there are those movies that are so stupid they are funny. This is not one of them. There is no doubt that it is heavy on the stupid but totally void of any identifiable humor. A prepubescent twelve-year-old could have written a more mature and effective script than whoever penned this cinematic atrocity. That is unless you are the type who enjoys a glut of juvenile antics, a deluge of f-bombs, and a tsunami of unfunny carnal comedy. Of course, what would one expect from the likes of sexually obsessed director Anders; whose theatrical short list is filled with uber perverted, irritatingly silly, silver screen disasters? The so-called A-List comedic ensemble must owe some huge student loans or monumental back taxes to have signed on to ride this train wreck. Either that or they just wanted to commit career suicide in the most brutal and gruesome way possible. In fact, I feel like I am wasting mine and everyone else's time in bothering to review this travesty. That is; on top of the hour and a half I will never get back sitting though this cinema sin. 0 out of 5 Kernels: I need to start implementing a negative rating denomination for infamy such as this.