Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Gotham Grade: B

At this point, we are literally trying to out Burton, Burton...

Oh, and spoilers...

1) Dime to dollars...

Ivy snuck some catnip in there...

Somewhere...

2) Jim's got...

Two phones...

One for the court...

And, one for the Penguin...

C'mon...

You know you sang it in your head...

3) Super secret society does not invest in security cameras for their meeting areas or homes...

4) Firefly really lit him up...

Ha...

I miss Jerome...

5) The Court of Owls is single handily keeping Party City's Mardi Gras section relevant...

6) That Bruce training sequence...

Batbumps...

Total, batbumps...

7) Please, Jim...

For the love of Gotham...

Stop, trying to prevent Lee from leaving...

8) Can we just call him Bane...

Because we all know he is Bane...

9) I just have one question...

When does he get the car...

10) Here we are...

Face to face...

A couple of Gotham loons...

We are two of kind...

Looking to commit crime...

He was once my bro...

Now, he's my foe...

Together...

We really rule this show...

Together...

Even Jim Gordon knows...

By the way...

If you got that reference...

You are awesome...

#Fox #Gotham #BatmanBegins #Riddler #Penguin #CourtofOwls

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D Grade: B-

GHOSTRIDER

IS

BACK!!!!!!!

Oh, and spoilers...

Wait...

That was a spoiler...

Shoot...

Moving on...

1) Excessive cloning of bad guy is excessive...

2) Marvel's Matrix quickly became S.H.I.E.L.D's The Hunt for Red October or Disney's Deepwater Horizon...

3) Why didn't Phil just use his shield to wipe them all out...

Is his arm powered by Plot Device...

4) Didn't they already do a thing called My Super Ex-Girlfriend...

5) Well...

Aida gave a whole new meaning to "banging him"...

Didn't she...

6) So...

Basically, Aida IS the X-men at this point...

Sorry, X-Women...

TRIGGERED...

7) Well, Fitz...

That escalated quickly...

They do say...

Once you go geek...

Her psycho behavior will peak...

Don't they...

8) Ultron called...

He wants his storyline back...

9) Sheesh...

May really laid the hammer down...

Get it...

Get it...

Whatever...

Moving on...

10) They were drowning in water...

And, sexual tension...

#ABC #Marvel #Agents #AgentsofShield #Shield #Aida #Framework #Ghostrider

Arrow Grade: F (for FAILED this series)

You know it's getting bad when you start missing the dirtbikes...

Oh, and spoilers...

1) Oh my God...

Adrian tried to drown Diggle and Oliver in Nestle Quik...

2) While we are at it...

So, for that trap to have worked...

Dig and Ollie would have stopped in that exact space for no apparent reason...

And, somehow, Adrian had a premonition that they would stop in that exact space for no reason...

Resolution: Adrian is, in fact, a really pissed off Professor X who fixed his spine with Felicity's tech and had a really successful Rogaine experience...

Like, really successful...

3) We just discovered Oliver's father was a bad guy...

The first few episodes of Season One...

4) He hadn't worn the suit in so long...

The hood shrunk...

5) All we would have to do is use T-Sphere's and Dinah's Canary Cry and we would actually SAVE Central City...

6) How in the HELL did they get a crate, that large and filled with concrete, into Oliver's office...

Oh, that's right...

They used that new shipping service...

P.D.E...

Plot Device Express...

They deliver anywhere...

But their best customers are on the CW...

7) Secret death video quality is like 4K...

And...

That was the clearest security camera footage in the history of security camera footage...

8) Speedy's back...

And...

9) So, we are all just supposed to believe Mr. Terrific was able to disarm that biological weapon with that much ease...

Is that what we are supposed to do...

Really...

REALLY...

10) Oh my God, Ollie's dad just drowned that guy in a vat of Nestle Quik...

No wonder Queen Consolidate's logo was a bunny sipping milk through a straw...

Right...

#CW #Arrow #FaileditsFans #Dirtbikes

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Flash Grade: C

Flash Grade: C

A forgettable filler episode...

In more ways than one...

Oh, and spoilers...

1) This episode brought to you through the combined efforts of the writers of all the 90's TGIF sitcoms...

2) So, if we help Caitlin...

Iris dies...

If we don't help Caitlin...

Iris lives...

Flash still has his powers...

Wally is still annoying...

Yeah, left me scratching my head too...

3) So...

Killer Frost is innately evil because...

No really...

Why is she evil...

Because she has cold and ice elemental like powers...

Well...

Iceman isn't evil...

Frozone isn't evil...

Frosty the snowman isn't evil...

Elsa isn't evil...

But...

Mr. Freeze and Captain Cold are...

Yeah, they were evil, to begin with...

Why am I having this argument with myself...

Let's move on, shall we...

4) We could have distracted Caitlin, found Savitar, taken him out, and then brought Barry's memory back...

But then the plot device gods would have been very angry...

5) That poor Potter dude can't catch a break...

6) You realize everyone died in the fire by the time Barry and Wally got to them...

Right...

7) While we are at it...

Can you imagine the conversation the security guards had when dime store Heatwave entered the building...

Hey, who's that guy with the flamethrower on his back...

Must be from Dominoes...

What...

Dude, it's fine...

He's wearing a FLAMETHROWER...

Shut up, I'm watching my stories...

8) The only authentic element of this episode was the courtroom scene...

Psychopathic pyromaniac guy is found innocent...

Despite overwhelming evidence...

Because of an idiotic judge...

9) Wait...

Was amnesia Barry...

A better lover than regular Barry....

10) If he had amnesia...

How did he remember how to put on the suit so fast...

#CW #Flash #Savitar

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Gotham Grade: A+

The greatest riddle is why anyone would not watch this show...

Total Batgasm...

The homages to the classics were epic this week....

Oh, and spoilers...

#Gotham #Fox #BatmanBegins #CatwomanLives

1) Was waiting for the Penguin to shout out to Ivy...

North, Ms. Teschmacher...

North...

2) That Selina scene...

HOLY MICHELLE PFIEFFER, TIM BURTON...

3) Okay...

The Riddler is my new favorite villain of all time...

4) Lee has officially become the Laurel and Maggie of this show...

5) Having Fries on your side is a cold comfort....

Ha...

Get it...

Get it...

Oh, nevermind...

Moving on...

6) The facepalm will never be the same...

7) Jim cares for Barbara...

Even if some days it seems he Harley knows her...

Huh...

Huh...

Damn...

Tough feed...

8) Hey, look...

Butch is still relevant...

9) It was all so cool...

Until he put on that dumb owl mask...

Then it was all like...

Mardi Gras Diggle...

10) Oh...

It's so sad...

Bitch Bruce is dying...


Supergirl Grade: F

The Village of the Darned...

Oh, and spoilers...

Or, what I call giving you back the 45  minutes of time that would have been wasted watching this idiotic show...

You're welcome...

#CW #Supergirl #DCWTF

1) Worst fight scene ever...

And, Legends and Arrow are part of the CW...

So, that's an accomplishment...

Not one that you would want to brag about, though...

2) While we are at it...

How exactly does Guardian know when and where crimes are going to happen...

Before they happen...

3) News report on renegade alien shows camera angles where and when there were no cameras present...

4) No...

NO...

This show is NOT allowed to make a Batman reference in any circumstance...

NEVER...

5) WWLD...

What Would Lex Do...

6) Okay...

Can someone just get Mon-El a vagina and be done with it...

TRIGGERED...

7) Noticeable wire rig harness on the alien child is noticeable...

8)  How exactly again...

How did the Catco building not collapse based on the damage we all saw...

Oh, that's right...

It was built with plot device...

That stuff is indestructible...

9) What is it with family references instantaneously changing people minds in the DC Universe...

10) Did they just literally steal the Stargate...

Aqua Teen Hunger Force kinda beat them to the punch on that one...


Sunday, May 7, 2017

#JustaQuickiePlease: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Review

Rarely does a sequel better its predecessor.  Even more uncommon, does a film follow-up match the quality of its forerunner.  But to have a second surpass its first; well that is the cinematic equivalent of a needle in a haystack.  James Gunn apparently never got that memo, as he has accomplished the seemingly impossible in crafting a movie that not only surpasses the original but is, without a doubt, the best Marvel movie to date.   Saturated with well timed and superiorly delivered humor mixed effortlessly with moments of sincerity that tugs at even the tightest of heart strings, Gunn creates a picture that reminds us of everything we used to love about going to the theater and the wondrous escape it provided.  Pratt, Saldana, Bautista, Cooper, Rooker, and Gillian all return in all of their illustrious, tongue in cheek, bigger than life glory with Russell and Klementieff effectively added to the ranks, rounding off this perfect ensemble.   However, it is Baby Groot (voiced by Vin Diesel) that steals every scene and provides one of the single, greatest openings in movie history.  With stunning effects that shock and awe from moment one and a story that has as much depth as it does thrills and levity, Volume 2 isn't just a film, it's a visual amusement park.  If that was not enough, Gunn tops it all off with a soundtrack that literally defines awesomeness.   Spoiler alert, I'll never think of Mary Poppins or David Hasselhoff the same way again.  5 out of 5 Kernels: for all it embodies, this is, without hesitation, the Star Wars for the next generation.

#JustaQuickiePlease: Pete's Dragon (2016) Review

Yet another one of Disney's "mad dashes to the cash" in the form of a live-action reboot.  Unlike the others, however, this is actually a 2016 live action reboot of a 1977 live action film, so there's that. The original was a charming, innovative musical, being one of the first feature-length movies to truly explore an extensive amount of animation mixed in with a stellar cast for the time.  This outing replaces that animation with CGI but leaves out all of the flourish and fun of its 70's predecessor. Instead, this incarnation attempts to create a more authentic story, about love, loss, and family that is entertaining but far too predictable, and at some points, stale and even sappy.   However, with that said, the cinematography is stunning, and the effects utilized to bring Elliot the Dragon to life, are both remarkable and believable.   Newcomer Oakes Fegley steals the show, and his performance is convincing and engaging.  The remainder of the cast, mostly current and former A-Listers, is good, not great, but still able to compliment Fegley's orphaned Pete.   My recommendation, watch and enjoy this fare but give the kids a treat and rent or stream the 1977 Disney classic.  You won't regret it. 3 out of 5 Kernels: A little dark for some young ones, with some tough subject matter and a few scary moments, but overall a pleasant fantasy for most of the family.

Friday, May 5, 2017

Arrow Grade: F

Arrow Grade: F

They literally found a way to involve a dirtbike in an episode that takes place entirely inside...

Oh, and spoilers...

1) Felicity wants to make a difference so she joins a clandestine group of cyber criminals...

Instead of reverse engineering the device that allows her to walk which could change the lives of millions of people for the good...

Thought, we forgot about that writers...

Didn't you...

2) Argus legitimately took Curtis' right ball...

Or, maybe it was his left...

How could you even tell...

3) Yeah, let's stay in the room that is filling with Methane Gas...

Like they're gonna kill us off...

4) Can we count the ways Oliver's wound would have killed him in this episode...

Maybe, the Arrow is really Logan's long-lost son...

5) Felicity admits she was wrong...

It only took us three excruciatingly long seasons to get there...

6) Lyla called out Diggle just like I did last week...

CW...

Send me my check...

7) Still waiting for the fact that Oliver is an admitted serial killer to actually have some kind of impact other than...

Meh...

8) So...

The Arrow Cave security wasn't good enough to keep Chase out...

Or anyone else, for that matter...

But becomes impenetrable once Oliver and Felicity are locked in it...

Seriously, the show makes my head hurt...

9) Flashback sex...

It was bound to happen...

10) The torch ignited the rising methane...

But didn't create a huge fireball that would have descended down to its source...

Cause...

Reality is not a character on this show...

But Plot Device damn sure is...

#Arrow #CW #FaileditsFans #Dirtbikes

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Flash Grade: A-

Flash Grade: A-

I have been saying it all along...

Commas...

Commas, people...

Commas, save lives...

Oh, and spoilers...

1) And, since we brought it up...

I am the future Flash...

2) First, we had Emo Barry...

Now, we have Phantom of the SpeedForce Barry...

3) Did MegaSavitarTron really have to say...

I rise, you fall...

Somewhere...

Michael Bay is frantically writing down the brief for his lawsuit...

I'm sure it will include explosions...

4) If Killer Frost knew exactly what was going to happen...

Because Savitar knew what was going to happen...

How, exactly did Vibe get the jump on her...

5) For the first time...

We have literal scientific proof...

Of someone having ice in their veins...

6) Why didn't Savitar just kill the Crazy Cat Lady Scientist...

Oh, that's right...

She was protected...

By plot device...

7) While we are at it...

Why are all the female scientists in the ArrowFlashVerse either chronically awkward or latently psychotic...

Sheesh, DC...

What...

Did you have a really bad break up with a smart chick or something...

8) Watching H.R. flirt is physically painful...

9) Does anyone in Central City not know who the Flash really is...

10) Okay...

Who else thinks...

The whole Caitlin Frozone ice bridge thingy was the coolest thing...

EVER...

#Flash #CW #Savitar #FrostisFrozonesDaughter



Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D Grade: C-

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D Grade: C-

Seriously, guys...

If not for the performances...

Oh, and spoilers...

1) Literally waited for Tank to meet Coulson as he exited the Marvel Matrix...

2) So, we basically did the whole Hydra Cap comic book thing through Fitz...

Didn't we...

3) I swear to you...

If the Russian Sub's name is the Nebuchadnezzar...

I'm done...

4) They beheaded Aida before she fully "fleshed out"...

And, yet she survived...

Oh, I know what saved her...

Plot device...

5) Simmons really took his Freedom...

6) Does anyone else believe that they are going to use the Human Sized Easy Bake Oven to bring Hope back to Mack in the real world...

7) Couldn't they have just landed and remained cloaked to save power, instead...

8) The official Best line of the Series...

Coulson gets shot in the chest and says...

This feels all too familiar...

9) We all know when this is all over...

May will with Phil...

10) Bringing Tripp back for a few episodes...

Is the Fangirl equivalent of blue balls...

Not cool, Marvel...

Not cool...

Bonus:  Not only did the machine make Aida a human...

But, it apparently gave her the powers of Nightcrawler...

Seriously, what was up with that...

#Marvel #ABC #AgentsofShield #Aida #Framework #AgentsofHydra

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Gotham Grade: A+

Gotham Grade: A+

Goosebumps...

Freakin' golfball sized goosebumps...

Oh, and spoilers...

1) RA's

AL

GHUL...

2) Bruce...

You have to become Gotham's protector...

BATGASM...

3) With each villain, they just keep getting better...

Ladies and gentlemen...

Poison Ivy...

4) Penguin really did get his freak on...

Do you think Gabe got the point...

Or all of them, for that matter...

5)  Well...

At least Ivy got a free year's worth of fertilizer out of that deal...

6) Barbara...

She may be Harley...

Maybe she's not...

Either way...

She makes cray cray look sexsay...

7) Lee...

You're crazy Jim...

Destroying everything you touch...

Now, leave me alone to mourn by psycho ex-husband who was determined to murder me...

8) I want Judge Judy to guest star on the Court of Owls...

9) Things never go well when Jim gets into a limo...

His prom must have sucked...

10) Well Dressed Mutant Ninja Psycho...

Well Dressed Mutant Ninja Psycho...

He'll cut your head off...

Owl Power...

C'mon...

You know you sang that in your head...

#Gotham #Fox #BestShowonTV #DC #BatmanBegins


Supergirl Grade: F

Supergirl Grade: F

Let's just get to it...

1)  We came this close to having an Alex free season...

This close...

2) We went from Gilmore Girls with Capes to Veronica Mars of Krypton...

And, now...

Daxam Crest...

And, if you got that reference...

You are so freakin' old...

3) Lena Luthor...

Dirt thinks she's dumber than it...

4) So, how exactly again did Dollar Tree Saw figure out how to beat the D.E.O in a single year...

Oh, that's right...

It's the D.E.O...

My 9-year-old could beat their security...

5) They have a mind wipe machine...

SPHINX...

If you got that reference...

You are super special awesome...

6) Maggie...

Officially the most annoying character on the CW...

And, that's quite the accomplishment...

7) Mon-El...

His superpower is runtime filler...

8) It's Season 2...

Or what I like to call...

Who gives a frak...

9) American History X can block J'onn's mind reading powers...

Cause...

We're the writers for Supergirl...

If logic was a religion...

We'd be agnostics...

10) National City Prisons...

S.T.A.R Labs designed our security...

And, we only employ one guard...

And, apparently, house one prisoner...

But, our police department has Alien Tech that can create holograms and bypass locks...

Keep defending this show you fanboys and gals...

Keep on defending it...

#Supergirl #CW #KryptonitefortheFans #DCWTF

Monday, May 1, 2017

The #DuskSeries Episode 7 (Live)

The #DuskSeries Episode 7 (filmed Live)...

Her Bite is Far Worse Than Her Bark...

https://www.facebook.com/duskseries/videos/1336662963090662/

The team meets with Celeste, the Luna. Will the bitter She-Wolf reveal more questions than answers?

Introducing...Madison Smith as Celeste

Starring:
Megan Rogers as Maleficus
James Hurley as Fenton Rivers
Jonathan Thompson as Gabriel
Cinematography/Editor...Tyler Suggs
Written and Directed by Ronald J. Rossmann
Music by Isaac Moore

#Dusk #Darknesswillfall #vampire #werewolf #witch #magic #supernatural #paranormal #series #webseries #livestream #FacebookLive #TeamFenton #TeamGabriel #DieforMal #BitchhasBite