Sunday, May 29, 2016

Questions of Memorial

What is the cost of freedom?
How many drops of blood must be collected?
How many flags must be neatly folded?
How many tears must puddle?
How many lonely nights, endured?
How many sons, buried?
How many daughters, mourned?
How many children, orphaned?
How many widows weep?
How many bullets, spent?
How much pain, borne?
How man wounds will never heal?
How many times will courage be called upon?
How many noble feet will cross foreign soil?
How many sleepless nights will be spent under strange stars?
How many fears, defeated, marching boldly into the unknown?
How many heroes will become martyrs?
How many of the fallen will be forgotten?
How many broken will be left uncared for?
The cost of freedom is without end.
Because freedom is merely a fragile peace.
For those who have gone before,
And those who stand so valiantly now,
There is no cost they would not suffer,
For the freedom, that serves you and me.
We remember those who have paid the ultimate price,
Honor their sacrifice with our humility and ceaseless gratitude.
Unable to be contained in a single day,
Impossible to be appreciated in a thousand lifetimes.
The cost of freedom should never be spent,
On those who refuse to understand and respect its value.
Our hearts salute the tireless soldier,
The soul who is priceless, the spirit who endows us with liberty.

#TheCrux #Sciencefiction you deserve & something #wickedlyawesome cover for the teaser comic available only at #charlottecomicon, August 7th!



I can't thank Lance Footer enough for such an AMAZING cover!!!!

Saturday, May 28, 2016

#JustaQuickiePlease: X-Men: Apocalypse Spoilerrific Review

Director, Brian Singer, bookends the X-Men franchise with this sixth installment in the series, and, predictably, leaves open the opportunity to continue it in a new direction with the reboot of the entire continuum.  The debate then becomes, was this a successful and satisfying conclusion to that rebirth.    The simple answer, it does not. It is a mess of a movie with too many moving parts that quickly and chaotically come loose.  To lead you safely through the morass that lies ahead, I have listed some of the most glaring fractures, holes, and outright deficiencies.

1) The acting was subpar.

None of the characters were authentic or engaging, instead, most, if not all, are barely two-dimensional.

2) Put simply; this was Katniss Everdeen as Mystique.

Lawrence has zero range as an actress anymore; to call her one note would be giving her too much credit.

3) Apocalypse looked like more bad cosplay than intimidating villain.

Seriously, it was maybe one step above the atrocious costuming of Supergirl's first season.   It's hard to fear the baddie when he looks like he's literally suffocating in his demon Smurf costume.

4) Then there was that Magento 'Martha' moment.

If you have seen BvS, you totally get that reference.   A man who has suffered countless tragedies at the hands of humans suddenly decides to forgo vengeance thanks to a stale speech by Mystique Everdeen.   His transformation feels forced and entirely unbelievable, especially for those who know the character in both these films and, more importantly, canon.

5) The story is poorly told.

It was so formulaic, in its blatant attempt to remake the originals, that it nearly satires itself at some points and becomes outright cartoonish in others.  The addition of the classic TV show theme song should have generated pure geek joy; rather it felt like cruel irony.

6) Singer takes the mythos of multiple comic plots, dices them up into bite-sized morsels, and haphazardly sprinkles them into one picture.

What may seem like instant geek gratification at first is quickly eclipsed by the revelation that his piece-mealing of beloved story arcs means they will never have their own focused features unless the intention is to run completely against the continuum established so far. Then again, Singer has never been one to respect any chronology or canon.

7) They introduce key components only never to use them.

Oh, there is the Blackbird...and now it's buried under the ruins of the destroyed academy.

8) What happened between Days of Future past and now is never clearly or convincingly expounded upon.

Sloppily put together news snippets, so poorly produced they satirize themselves, just doesn't cut it.  It is a lazy way of quickly segueing to the larger story.

9) Loose ends and thoughtlessly inserted fandom plague this picture.

Striker knows how to dampen mutant powers.  How he does, is never addressed and probably won't be.

The Weapon X scene was mucho cool but cheated the fandom out of a legitimate feature based on Logan's real origin story.

Logan is shown as the brutal force he truly is.  Kudos for the boldness to give us the Wolverine we have earned and always deserved.  Too bad it was a mere side note.

Phoenix isn't just hinted at; she's unleashed in stunning fashion.  However, it was still misplaced based on the retelling and subsequent evolution of her character.

9) They poke fun at prior mistakes but still refuse to learn from them.

The comment is made, after the young team sees Return of the Jedi, that "the third one is always the worst."  A deliberate dig to The Last Stand and yet, here we are again.  Hell, Magento even destroyed the same bridge.

10) They are disenfranchising anyone who has never picked up a comic book in their life.

Look there's the Danger Room, but we won't explain what it is.  Don't forget folks; we are trying to bring an entirely new generation in, one who has no idea what the Frak certain aspects of dedicated fandom are.

And why, again, was Jubilee in the film?  Yeah, it is great that you posted the deleted scenes on Facebook, but it would have been nice to have them in the actual movie.  A few seconds less of the same old, same old, world destruction could have been sacrificed to give her a genuine backstory.

11) This all felt, at times, like X-Men light.

I guess, Deadpool was right; the budget does affect how many mutants can be shown.  Unlike its predecessor, we saw a lot of kids, but very few powers.

12) Sadly, all of the groundbreaking message is now lost.

The X-Men canon was primarily about discrimination and fighting for equality.   Now those key elements are reduced to redundant plot devices or careless mentions.

13)  This is GCI overdose.

So, much so, that much of the action is hard to follow because those scenes are so overtly filled with effects,  While we are at it, have we run out of exuberant, computer created ways to destroy the world yet.  If anything brings about the demise of comic book fare, it will be the over-reliance on these effects and unmitigated collateral damage.

14) The battle sequences are too quick and lackluster.

Again, too much is going on too fast, which lessens the impact of each and every sequence.   All the choreography is lost in the sheer madness of effects.

15) The end credits scene is so benign only the most devout fanboy or girl would get it.

If you are going to make us wait, you better give us something worth waiting for.

In the end, you have a pretentious spectacle that is less entertaining than it is disappointing.  2 out of 5 Kernels; the best of the worst of the franchise, so, it will be up to you whether or not the ten dollars would be better spent elsewhere.































Friday, May 27, 2016

Flash Grade: A

Now that is how you do Canon...

1) Enough with the heartbreak already...you guys are killing me...

2) Cisco be a vibing...

3) Wait...did Zoom just attempt try to destroy the Multiverse with a Stargate...these crossovers are getting reedickulous...

4) Being a time remnant on this show is like wearing a red shirt on Star Trek...

5) Yeah Joe, stand right next to the breech when we shoot Zoom into it...what could go wrong...it's not like we did this all before...like with Jay...wait...what...

6) Man in the mask was not Leonardo DiCaprio...

7) Jay went all Walking Dead on us...

8) Iris didn't just get friendzoned...she got literally time zoned...

9) Mama...just killed a Zoom...the time wraiths melted his head...now he's gone and I'm not dead...Mama...I had to run...through time to save your life...Mama...I don't want to cry...looks like the Flash will never be made at all...but I'll carry on...carry on...because you are all that matters...
...if you didn't sing it in your head...I pity you...

10) Two words...Flash...Point...

Arrow Grade: F

Thank God that season is finally over...

...the most "realistic" comic book show on television didn't just jump the shark...on their dirtbikes...they killed it, deboned it, and served it as sushi...

...we can disarm 15,000 nuclear missiles on my Mac Book...no really...it will work...

1) Jobu literally had the most screen time of anyone else on this show...Pier 1 must be so proud...

2) All that street scene needed was Zod, Ursa, and Non to show up and stand behind Damian...

...and it you didn't see Superman 2...you will never get that joke...

3) Arrow defeats Darth Darhk with "the feels"...

...I know what kind of "feels" this episode gave me...well, at least I am not constipated anymore...

4) Arrow kills Damian...everyone compares it to Daredevil...

...Sir...I have met Matt Murdock....I know of his work...Mr. Queen....you are no Matt Murdock...

5) Feeling guilty about killing a murderer, who would have hunted your family until he killed every one of them, makes as much sense as anything else on this fraking show...

6) Superhero speech calms crowd panicking right before nuclear missile strikes city...
...again...the most "realistic" comic book show on television...

...even the Supergirl writers went...damn...

7) Hey, Oliver...ADT called...please call them back....please...

8) Suddenly Laurel is freakin' Mother Theresa...when the hell did that happen...

...Laurel wouldn't have killed Damian...really...really...

9) Season 3 fight choreographer...William Shatner

10) Yay...we're going to have more Flashbacks next year...

...just what nobody wanted...

‪#‎DCHatestheirfans‬

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Gotham Grade: B-

The end of the beginning...

1) How many villains can we squeeze into one single episode...

...cause we just exceeded, Spiderman 3, The Amazing Spiderman 2, and Suicide Squad all in one fell swoop..

2) Hey...Fish...The Purple Man wants his shtick back...

3) What is it with buses on this freakin' show...

...it's like dirtbikes on Arrow...

4) Riddler can disable Strange's entire security system by tampering with a single wire...

...still can't escape from his own room...

5) They so stole that scene from True Lies...

...all we needed was a stripping Jamie Lee Curtis...

6) Thank God Jim wasn't acting odd or anything...

...is there any wonder why the GCPD needs Batman...

7) How did she figure it out so soon...

...simple...

...crazy knows crazy...

8) Penguin really knows how to get a head...

9) JEROMES' LAUGH....WE ALL HEARD JEROMES' LAUGH!!!

10) Ladies and gentlemen...I give you evil Bruce...

...supervillain doppelganger equation...

...just add long hair and white base...

...ta da...

Saturday, May 21, 2016

DC Legends of Tomorrow Grade: F

Time after time...each episode is worse than the one before...
1) Stein...your wife is stepping out on you...
...c'mon...
...honey, I want you to disappear for months at a time...it's your dream...
...and, anyway, the new pool boy I hired will keep me company...
*They don't have a pool*
2) We managed to kill him three times in one episode...something we couldn't do for an entire season...
3) Prop department budget, still reeling from giant GCI robot, makes meteorites out of spray painted foam and neon blue Gak....
4) Kendra...even a stormtrooper could take her out...
5) And while we are at it...
...Kendra comes across the exact same helmet, that she saw in Rip's rec room, worn by a soldier she just happens to meet in 1940's France...writes note in that same helmet...then, flash forward to the present, and the helmet just happens to fall off of shelf to bring attention to itself because of some bullshite time travel stuff we made up...Rip finds the note and adventure ensues...
...sheesh, Plot Device...you are just phoning it in now...
6) Awww...Rory and Mick's bromance...
7) So...Sara shows up in Central City and decides not to get revenge on Damian Dahrk for Laurel's death...instead, she begs Rip to go back in time and save her...Rip refuses because saving someone's family is not worth jeopardizing the timeline...
Tell me Rip...WTF....
8) Firestorm can alter matter...but isn't able to disintegrate Vandal Savage from the get go...because....
...well Hell...Rip just told Sara that going back in time to save her family would damage the timeline...so...that's the kind of writing we are dealing with...moving on...
9) If Vandal was working with the Time Masters from the beginning...why the heck did we go through all of this when he could have enacted the whole blood and meteor thing from step one...
10) Yay...Hourman just arrived...
...Who...
...Yeah...pretty much...

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Arrow Grade: D

Basically, I am still watching this show out of sheer obligation...
1) This week on House Hunters...The Ark...
2) Good thing we don't stand out among all these people in gray jumpsuits...
...Oliver Queen...been f$%king up covert operations since season 3...
3) Thea took the little yellow pill...if you suffer from mind control for more than four hours...please consult your doctor...or Damian Darhk...
4) Let's take stock...Machin was able to best Arrow, Thea, and Diggle together...sabotage The Ark's power supply...infiltrate The Ark and bypass its defenses from the beginning....all without magic...
...CW...you got your next DC show....
5) Their....flash....back...
6) Yeah...that whole not killing people thing is working out swimmingly...
7) Most realistic portrayal of hacking on TV....
...if you are a complete idiot...
...think Wargames if Pauly Shore was the writer and director...
8) Well, Felicity....the beeyotch doesn't fall from the tree...now, does it...
9) That's why Zillow rates every property in Star City in cents....
10) Ruve died...the only reason why this episode didn't earn an F...



Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Gotham Grade: B-

The Bat, Cat, Fish, and Firefly...when exactly did this become a nature show...
1) Never tie someone's hands after you knock them out...totally unnecessary...I mean, what could possibly happen...
2) I'm Fish Mooney, Bitch...
3) Can make radioactive, genetically altered, resurrected humans...but can't fork up the money for the flatscreens or a color surveillance system...c'mon Strange...even Gotham's got to have a Costco...
4) Yes...that was Clayface...and yes...this version sucks....
5) Still waiting for Jerome...we best gets us some Jerome...
6) Who...The Court of Owls...who...you know, The Court of Owls...who...
...stop it...
7) The Riddler just said he would kill Bruce Wayne without "batting" an eye...ha...
...he's still no Jerome...
8) You can literally see the Dark Knight in his eyes...
...the brooding has officially begun...
9) Wow...that has to be the best wig ever....
10) Great, here comes the GCPD...did things just get better or worse...

Flash Grade: A-

Enough with the "feels" already....
1) Huh...the Earth 2 Laurel is just as annoying as the Earth 1 used to be...I guess some things are multi-universal....
2) Yeah, let's everyone shite on Barry for being positive...cause that will work wonders when he faces Zoom...
3) Wally West...he's the hero we don't need or want...
4) So, when exactly did Zoom figure out how to create breaches...
...when plot device told him about it...
5) Barry...the fastest man alive...except for every other Speedster that arrives in town...
6) I see dead people...I mean birds...I see dead birds...
7) So, what do we do with these Reverb and Killer Frost costumes...well, we spent a fortune on them...wait...I just had the worst idea ever...
8) Wouldn't playing Kanye West really loudly have had the same effect on the meta-humans...
9) Wow...a plan that actually worked...let's celebrate...nothing ever goes wrong when we all get together in one space and let our collective guards down...
10) Hello...I'm Barry Montoya...you killed my father....prepared to die...
....and you have just been Princess Brided...

Marvel's A.O.S Grade: A-

WTF people...
1) Enough May...we get it...you are a super cool ninja...now shoot someone in the freakin' head already...
2) Well, we went full Neo with Hive...didn't we...
3) Daisy does her best impression of Courtney Love...
4) Return to the Planet of the Scrotum Head Men...again Marvel...really...really...
5) Cause having a heartfelt moment in the middle of conflict never leads to anything bad...
6) That wasn't the fish he was thinking of Simmons...
...and yes, I went there...
7) Okay...that Mack/Daisy moment didn't make me cry...allergies are a beeotch this year...
8) We really need to get that hanger door fixed...
9) UPS apparently knows the location of S.H.I.E.L.D's ultra secret base...
...and they also ship Teragin Crystals...who knew...
10) Daisy went full on Jessica Jones on us...
11) Hey...its was two hours, I get a few more...
12) So Fitz didn't breathe in the Teragin Mist because he was protected...
...by plot device...dammit...that guy is everywhere...
13) Lincoln and Hive...the bromance that never was...
14) Love the realism of this show....
...drive through nuclear codes...
15) Yo-Yo tried the Neo thing too...yeah...it went as badly as expected...
16) I was half waiting for Doctor Grant to appear and say...don't move...
...it's the Scrotum Head Rex...he can't see you if you don't move...
17) New drinking game...take a shot every time they show an uber obvious swap out of the cross necklace....
18) Lincoln died...you took the easy way out Marvel...
...and we all thank you for it...
19) Cloaked gun...didn't see that one coming...
...let that one sink it...you will eventually get it...
20) So what...Coulson's not the director anymore, Daisy's on the lam, and Ratcliff just built Siri Ultron....
...that isn't a cliffhanger guys...that's a drop from the f$%king stratosphere...

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

#JustaQuickiePlease: The 5th Wave Review

So basically, director J Blakeson took a cinematic blender and added Independence Day, Divergent, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and 2012 to concoct a totally unoriginal, predictable, and boring hodgepodge that adds to the growing number of ridiculous YA fiction that unsuccessfully masquerades as science fiction.  Poor Chloe Mortez, usually an incredibly talented actress, has yet to find a quality vehicle since her time as Hit Girl and Abby in the quintessentially creepy vampire classic Let Me In.   The remaining cast is utterly stale, partly because of their own limited range but mostly due to an inferior script and story.  The effects are disappointing at best, and the action, even more so.   With a cliffhanger ending that has zero appeal to want, in the least, to see a guaranteed host of subpar sequels, from start to finish this film is one epic failure.  0 out of 5 Kernels: apparently in the 6th wave the "Others" intend on boring us to death, based on this outing, they may actually succeed.   

Saturday, May 7, 2016

#JustaQuickiePlease: Captain America: Civil War Spoiler Riddled Review

This is one of the best Marvel movies to date, and by far, the best in the Captain America series.  Some might see it as Avengers 2.5, but the Russo brothers have done another remarkable job of creating a unique action/thriller that calls itself a comic book movie.  With plot twists, you won't see coming and a villain you never expect, this newest installment delivers in every way any fan of this genre or filmmaking in general, could hope for.   Solid character development with shared space that is effortless, never infringing upon any adjoining on-screen presence, a definitive and satisfying balance between plot and action, and well time perfectly placed humor that enhances every scene and brings a noticeable and refreshing humanity, fleshing out our heroes in the way only Marvel can.  In addition, the introduction of new characters to the fold is both fluid and effective.  Both Boseman and Holland give standout performances worthy of the heroes they represent.  This is a respectful retelling that compliments all predecessors of the franchise, paying homage to canon while successfully creating a unique and original spin on this comic classic.  4 out of 5 Kernels; with very few missteps present, this should be the model for all comic book cinematic fare. 

So that was the "Quickie" part...

...now, let's get into the nitty gritty!

Here's the breakdown...and the spoilers, so check out now if you don't want to know.

The good:

1) Best shield action yet...as Spidey says..." that thing defies the laws of physics, doesn't it."

2) Falcon finally gets to kick some serious arse with some updated tech that is "geekgasmicly" cool.

3) Black Panther...need I say more.  This feature was one step away from being an origin story for him.  Boseman is a fantastic actor who brought this beloved character to illustrious life with utter awesomeness.  He truly makes it his own from scene one with “HugeJackmanesque" veracity.  The costume is outstanding; a real tribute to this Fanboy (and girl) favorite.

4) Spiderman...much more screen time than expected and it was more than worth it.  His introduction is well executed, and Holland owns the beloved Wall Crawler with his authenticity and his own trademark Web Slinger one-liners.

5) Bucky and Rogers share a true bromance.  In all seriousness, their affinity is engaging and genuine. 

6) Sebastian Stan takes Bucky to the next level of credibility with a brooding, tormented goodness.

7) Black Widow proves why she needs a solo film.  I don't know what is more striking; her comedic, dramatic, or combat timing.

8) Scarlett Witch also gets more screen time than expected, which is fortunate, as she confidently evolves throughout and gets the chance to truly explore and utilize her abilities.

9) Rudd is, once again, spectacular as Ant-Man, and would serve as the quintessential comedic relief if he wasn't competing with Holland and Mackie for the title.  Oh...and Giant Man...I'll just leave that there…but those sequences are nerdtastic.

10)  Bruhl's Zemo is purposefully subtle, allowing for an unexpected but logical twist at the end and avoiding interference with the real villain of the film.

11) And that brings us to the actual baddie of this flick...Stark himself...shock of all shocks.  Downey began his conflicted persona in the absolutely awful Iron Man 3, suffering from reality shattering, ego devastating, PTSD from his alien encounter that was continued in Age of Ultron with the death vision that presented the brutal decimation of his friends.  That angst is reinforced by the aftermath of his own creation, an entity meant to protect the earth and preserve his team that horrifically shifted gears from savior to genocidal maniac with a quantum intelligence.  Now he is faced with his own displaced existence and an unshakeable refusal to accept accountability for his silent madness and horrendous mistakes.  Those factors are nurtured by an utter misunderstanding of the roles of hero and villains and a total denial of reason.  Resulting in Tony's transformation into a paranoid Gestapo, believing imprisonment is subjective and turning a blind eye to his own infractions while projecting them onto others.  He willingly surrenders to a gnawing anxiety that allows him to believe the same corrupt bureaucratic system that nearly obliterated a city and its populace during the battle of New York and allowed a Nazi regime to undermine its ultimate spy agency, can somehow regulate his team without agendas that change as rapidly as Banner during a tantric orgasm,   Downey plays this part to the hilt and effortlessly culminates his pattern of egregious arrogance and deliberate ignorance with an undeniable conviction.  Even when he appears to be repentive, he swiftly resorts back to this demeaningly phobic identity when the facts of his parent's death are presented with unmistakably ill intent.  The man, who disappointingly comments, "You were my friend too," at one moment with such sincerity, is the same person who is willing to eviscerate the very individual of that alleged friendship.   Despite their previous tension, there was always a subtle respect, but Downey is able to transfer that into an obsessive resentment and eventual, visceral rage that is tragically inspired. 

12) While we are at it, both Evans and his counterpart deliver heart-wrenching performances as their relationship steadily erodes.

13) The ending was well crafted and a nice rebooted exclamation point to the story, and if you know me, you know how much I hate that word and concept; so that is a genuine compliment.

14) Both end credit scenes, though not jaw-dropping, were important and intriguing. 

The disappointing but understandable:

1) Vision is underused, but it is a necessity taking into consideration the sheer scope of his character.  His involvement is just right based on the overall matrix of the plot.

2) Ross is underplayed, but that too is appropriate, as his antagonist could easily overwhelm the story.  However, I hope to see him become more and more involved in future films.

3) Freeman is also underwhelming, but I believe that was intentional as well.  I think he may become the new "Coulson" of Phases 3 and 4, but don't quote me on that.

The bad:

1) One of the more frustrating aspects is the quick and needless death of the iconic Cap villain Crossbones.  I know they used him as a catalyst in the story reboot, but it was a waste of an exciting opponent in the continuing saga.  Despite his limited run time and making him a proverbial sacrificial lamb, he makes an unforgettable impact, both figuratively and literally. 

2) Sharon Carter as a character is a bit one-dimensional, although the romance with Cap is quaint. I really thought she would have a more significant role other than a mere messenger, but sadly she becomes the near equivalent of Captain Phasma. 

3) There wasn't enough grieving time for Rogers at Carter's funeral.  I know we were throwing a lot in the mix, but the few extra minutes would have honored their relationship and her seminal character.  Also, could we please mention Tommy Lee Jones just once?  The man deserves at least a shout out with such a wondrous performance as Rogers’ first, and only, commanding officer.


So, in conclusion, minus a few debatable deficiencies, this is in the top four of my favorite Marvel outings.  A must see for die-hard fans and naive newcomers alike.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

New Review.....honest and thoughtful....

#TheCrux #Sciencefiction you deserve!

3.0 out of 5 stars
Mostly an enjoyable read
By DevilMayCareProductions on May 3, 2016

...Ronald makes great use of descriptive text and you can easily visualize the worlds he is creating...Overall...it was an enjoyable read.

Read the complete review, all reviews, and sample chapters on Amazon.com...

The Crux on Amazon.com

#JustaQuickiePlease: The Other Woman Review

The only way to tolerate this film is with an overdose of estrogen and an empty 9mm casing spent at the temple of your head.  You know you are in for a bad time when your wife, who is this movie's target audience, asks a fourth of the way through, is it over yet.  Unfunny, tedious, poorly written, and atrociously acted; this alleged chick flick is, for the sake of a better word, fowl, and not in the sense of being edgy or profane, but utterly awful in every way.   If you want to waste an hour and forty-nine minutes, by all means, fire up the Blu-ray or digital download.  However, I value my time a tad bit more than that and desperately wish I could get every second spent on this cinematic sin back.  0 out of 5 Kernels; I'm done; just because I don't want to waste another fraction of a moment on this travesty.

#JustaQuickiePlease: Krampus Review

Krampus needs to immediately file a class action suit because he has an indefensible case of defamation.  What starts out as Home Alone meets Tales from the Crypt ends up being nothing more than a low-budget version of The Puppet Master's Christmas Special, and if you have seen any of the Puppet Master films, you understand the significance of the critique.  In fact, the only frightening elements in this celluloid disaster is a definitive toss up between its horrid acting and utterly silly practical effects.  I usually criticize for utilizing too much CGI, but, sheesh, this film could have used a healthy helping of it.  The story and concept aren't bad, in fact, the initial notion is actually quite unique and enticing.  However, the execution is so abysmal that any potential is swiftly engulfed in a blizzard of bad.  There is no credible character development or any that you care about.  The humor is stale and lazy, and the action is so predictable and poorly choreographed, it ends up being, quite by accident, the only laughable facet in this horror flick gone horribly wrong.   With an ending that is just as confusing as why anyone in charge would have believed, after seeing the final edit, that this was a quality picture; one can only conclude that the director, writers, actors, and producers all deserve a truckload of coal in their stockings.  0 out of 5 Kernels; This feature takes its rightful place at the top of Santa's naughty list.