Monday, June 3, 2013
One Minute Movie Review: The Last Stand
Completely implausible, poorly written, and badly acted, Arnie's first full length comeback feature is the absolute worst addition to his iconic resume. Kim Jee-Woon, who dabbles mostly in the Asian macabre, makes his directorial action debut in this overtly violent and bloody, absolutely underwhelming disaster of a film. The entire casts’ performances are on par with a made for TV Syfy Channel movie, so mechanical and unoriginal they are laughable. The Big Al fares no better as even his one liners fall short, about as amusing and entertaining as watching C-SPAN on mute. Add in a plot and stunts that are so unbelievably ridiculous that they would only make sense to co star Johnny Knoxville after one too many head shots by Steve-O on a meth driven episode of Jackass. Based on this celluloid messterpiece, I think Arnie's next big project should be a deeply introspective look into retirement. 0 out of 5 Kernels; this film was a Raw Deal that couldn't be rescued by a team of Commandos, only proving that Schwarzenegger's talent may be Terminated, and his career Expendable.