Friday, December 27, 2013
One Minute Movie Review: White House Down
Roland Emmerich, director of such Blockbusters as ID4, The Patriot, and Stargate brings us this liberally lopsided action adventure about an improbable, to the point of downright silliness, attack on the white house and the characters who are caught in the crossfire. Both this film and its doppelganger, Olympus Has Fallen, failed miserably at the box office, maybe because in this post 911 world, audiences just don't find violent terrorist attacks on our nation's capitol all that entertaining, but mostly because they are so unbelievable in their storytelling and poorly acted. We don't mind aliens from space decimating every monument and city on the planet with maximum carnage, that's fantasy, but a group of human psychopaths killing countless innocents and destroying our national symbols of strength and society must hit a little too close to home. But unlike Olympus, Emmerich fills his cinematic train wreck with so much liberal ideology, swipes at the right, and ridiculous logic that it eclipses all the action and any redeeming qualities, which are minimal in totality. The story is unbelievable, even further damaged by the performances of the entire ensemble, none more than its two leading men. Why Tatum is still allowed to act in anything should be a federal offense in and of itself and Fox's performance is simply two dimensional and stale. The remaining cast plays their parts so over the top that they become comical in a very accidental way. The action is impressive, although it is so far fetched it ends up looking like an unconscious parody of itself. There are brief moments of humor and connection between Channing and Jamie, but they are too few and move by too fast. This was yet another attempt at creating Die Hard in DC that was an epic fail in scope and dollars. 0 out of 5 Kernels; the only thing terrorized by this movie is the folks who either paid to see it in the theater, or took the time to suffer through it via Netflix.