Monday, October 19, 2015
#JustaQuickiePlease: San Andreas Review
The guy who brought you the critically acclaimed Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore brings you his first attempt at a big-budget disaster film; further proving those Hollywood execs really know what they are doing, don't they. In the plus category, this is a very entertaining film; if you care not for things like scientific plausibility, with epic, sometimes brutal special effects. But that is where all of the pluses end and the 9.5 scale minuses begin and continue until the last nonsensical aftershock. Poorly acted, overly predictable, with ridiculously impossible action and survival sequences absolutely apropos for a Shakespearean thespian the likes of this movie's headliner; Dwayne Johnson. Please note the deep and intense tremors of sarcasm. This film is a true disaster flick in regards to the sheer wake of devastation left by its ridiculously unbelievable script and stereotypical characters. If you are looking for a mindless cinematic joy ride; this is your film. But doesn't that pretty much sum up the majority of what Tinsel Town is spewing out these days. 2 out of 5 Kernels: with the lack of reality all they needed were a couple of Graboids to show up and then we would really have a movie.