One Minute Movie Review: Snow White and the Hunstman

Think the Brother's Grimm, meets J.R.R Tolkien, with a smidge of C.S Lewis and a touch of Guillermo del Toro and you might glean the style and sweep of this modern and darker adaptation of the beloved fairy tale. Do not look for high pitched arias or silly named dwarves, expect dark, disturbing, and stunning imagery, artsy cinematography, and an amazingly masterful scenic scope. The script is solid, and the transformation from Disney Classic to grimly filmed fantasy epic is fluid possessing a remarkably honest and visually engaging presence. Charlize Theron and Chris Hemsworth deliver inspired performances, utterly immersing themselves in their characters. Unfortunately, that is where the high points end, and the reality begins. For anyone who believes Kristen Stewart can act needs to be immediately drug tested, med card or not. Stewart is as entertaining as a wet blanket and her perfromance has the  range and depth of a Dixie cup. This has to be one of the greatest miscasts of our time. As Hemsworth oozes charsima, Stewart sucks the room dry by her lifeless performance better than a vampire in, well you know. She was not just out of her league she was entirely out of place. Add into that a well written script that builds strong and then ends with a whisper instead of a bang. I have not seen such an epic fail of a conclusion compared to the powerful build that preceded it. As dissapointing as lighting a hollowed out firecracker, or Charlie Sheen's career, you choose which is more apropo. This is Rupert Sanders' first film, and the rookie mistakes in these areas are glaring. This could have been a masterpiece of celluloid, instead it falls short and flat during the last thirty minutes. 2 out of 5 Kernels; I am extremely Grumpy because Stewart's performance and the lackluster resolution were both Dopey.