Wednesday, July 30, 2014
One Minute Movie Review: Robocop (2014)
To use the words; terrible, boring, stale, uninspired, cold, poorly acted, and downright disappointing, in describing this cinematic reboot to the 80's Verhoeven camp classic would actually be compliments. This film is a disaster from frame one until the final credits reluctantly roll across the screen. Gone is all the cleverness, tongue in cheek humor, deliciously warped "over the top" villains, unique and colorful characters, and Weller's iconic performance of the original on screen "Iron Man." Instead, we get two hours of poorly written, tragically performed re-visioning that is more focused on an anti-drone, anti-N.S.A, anti-corporate America message (enough anti's for you yet) than actually entertaining its audience. Worse, the message fails with even more fervor than the entirety of the movie. So my note to the new Hollywood elite, "Stop messing with our favorites and try to come up with some actual original ideas!" 0 out of 5 Kernels: even the sleek and excessive CGI special effects don't measure up to the 80's staples of cheesy, gore filled, squib mania (Google it) mixed with a touch of Harryhausen's magic (again Google it).