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Monday, July 24, 2017

#JustaQuickiePlease: Spiderman: Homecoming

Marvel's Diary of a Wimpy Kid.  This is one of the worst examples of pandering to a fandom, and that selfsame fandom accepting an inferior product just for the sake of seeing their favorite character grace the silver screen.   What follows is, what I can only imagine could be the studio's thought process.  Basically, we introduced this guy in Civil War, and we have done his backstory to death, so, now we HAVE to give him his own film, to continue making ungodly amounts of cash.   I know, let's surround him with a lackluster storyline that no one will care about who is over the age of 16, or has that mentality, villains who are as interesting as watching grass grow, and a suit that looks so CGI it nearly parodies itself.  Returning to reality, one would think this would be a recipe for disaster.  Nope, not when it comes to Marvel fans who made a film like Iron Man 3 a cash cow.   The good news, after the credits roll, you will appreciate the first two Raimi films, as you already should have.  Holland is, admittedly, the best Parker yet, while at the same time, being the worst Wall Crawler to date.  Tomei was a ludicrous casting choice for May, not through any fault of her own, but for the complete abandonment of any decent or even tangible character development.   However, the award for the most phoned in performance goes to, and this literally kills me to say, Keaton, who delivers a bored Batman as any even more boring Vulture.   I pray, my beloved franchise has not lost its way, and by the looks of Infinity War, I may have nothing to worry about.  However, as far as the Web Slinger is concerned, I think a supporting role may be the best fit for the youngest member of this cinematic universe's Avengers.  By the way, love the Stan Lee cameo, as always, and major props for the best end credit scene yet, courtesy of the Cap.  2 out of 5 Kernels; Downey Jr. didn't want to do a fourth Iron Man movie, funny, because this felt an awful lot like it was, or at least Iron Man 3.5.

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