Friday, July 7, 2017

#JustaQuickiePlease: 47 Meters Down Review

                   Promoted as the next Jaws, this shipwreck is more hapless minnow than ominous great white.  Predictable, silly, and at times, downright boring, Moore's attempted comeback drowns in its own undeniably failed attempt at horror and drama.
                    You know it's going to be a bad day when all four of your CGI sharks, look identical to each other down to the very last detail.   Completely ignoring any principles of science, and with sharks who are more controlled by plot device than actual bloodlust, director Roberts seems to be in a desperate and relentless race, of one, to become the next straight to download, B-movie master.                              While Mandy is awful, her supporting ensemble is worse, all apparently competing for the prize of being either the most irritatingly stereotypical or exhaustingly stale.   Without a doubt, the only scary elements of this flick of finned fear were the price of admission and the seemingly endless runtime.
                   0 out of 5 Kernels; a toothless tale of terror.

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