One Minute Movie Review: Premium Rush

To begin with, there was nothing premium about this movie.  As far as, any rush is concerned, I honestly  have to say, it was more a cure for insomnia than anything else.   David Koepp delivers us a commercial for Motorola GPS more than a movie.  Utilizing choppy editing to tell the story, out of sequence,  Koepp attempts to create a “ 24” like production in a 2 hour timeframe.   He fails, and  instead creates  a lazily constructed plot with goofy and stale acting and a severe overuse of bicycle chases that get old faster than anyone can petal.    Joseph Gordon-Levitt is apparently Hollywood's new golden boy  if that is the case, it is Fools’ Gold.  As an alleged action star he's lackluster at best and, overall, as an actor, he proves with each movie he may want to rethink profession.  He has no chemistry with any of his castmates  as his performance is as dry as Arizona asphalt.  I won't even bother mentioning the names of the other players because I'm confident that, in retrospect, they would like their roles in this mess to be quickly forgotten. The dialogue is corny,  the action sequences are repetitive,  the chase sequences are too long, and if I wanted to see the absolute glut of bike tricks I would watch the X games on ESPN.  The story is overly simplistic and predictable,  about as engaging as watching grass grow or paint dry,  you choose.    Apparently Levitt is being scoped out as a potential Batman substitute for the Justice League movie.    If so, I would liken that move to placing a large hunk of Kryptonite in Superman’s toilet.  If you must see a cheesy bike messenger story I recommend the 1986 flick, Quicksilver, starring the amazing Bacon. At least you know what you're getting into.  0 out of 5 Kernels: the only feeling of rush I had was to rush to the credits so it would be over with.