One Minute Movie Review: Iron Man 3

Not since Prometheus have I been so disappointed in an extension of a film franchise.  What has become a steadfast rule in Hollywood is that the hype fails to match the final product, never was this truer with this disaster of sequel.   Favreau's absence in the director's chair is deeply felt, and Shane Black was the worst possible choice as a replacement.  This film fails on multiple levels, and those are difficult to interpret without providing spoilers so I will tread ever so lightly.   First, this movie suffers from the same affliction that the final Batman cinematic collapse, the Dark Knight Rises, had in that the crusader moves quickly from heroic warrior to costumed punching bag.  Add to that, the lack of screen time of the true reason you go to see an Iron Man film, the armor, at least in whole or truly dynamic form.  Second, absent in this movie is all the endearing qualities of the first two; the humor is hit or miss, the relationship between Pepper and Stark no longer makes sense, and the action is so chaotic, especially in the final climactic scene that it is hard to follow with any real detail.   Third, we all know, of course, this is a comic book film so physics and actuality can be easily manipulated, disobeyed, or flat out ignored, but the fantasy has to make some semblance of sense.   That is not the case here as the plot devices simply do not hold up to any form of scrutiny and the story has so many holes that it is liken to attempting to successfully collect water  with a spaghetti strainer.   Finally, like so many in Hollywood, the film's core boils down to a blame America first campaign, which I have grown so tired and disgusted with I can not even garner the words to protest with any briefness.  Once again proving how out of touch the LA elite are and yet we continue to pay top dollars for their celluloid dribble.  As for the cast;  Downey, who has defined this character, moves from sophisticated,  sharp, and entertaining to downright goofy.   Pearce's villain is so over the top that he becomes utterly unbelievable and silly.    Even Cheadle's performance is so plastic and clichéd it is a stark reminder of the Robinesque sidekick ala Batman Forever.   The only saving grace is the effects, which are epic in scope, but with a script that should have been used as birdcage liner rather than blockbuster become eclipsed.     After a massively successful collective for the Marvel Phase 1 project, I hope and pray this is not a harbinger of things to come for Phase 2.    Lastly, please don't wait for any cool Easter eggs at the end of the credits which have become a staple of Marvel fair, the one here is rotten.  1 out of 5 Kernels;  way to end a franchise Marvel,  apparently the only chink in Iron Man's armor was post production.