Tuesday, May 14, 2013

One Minute Movie Review: Safe Haven

Lasse Halstrom, most notably known for such dramatic and romantic fare as Chocolat, The Cider House Rules, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, and An Unfinished Life brings us his envisioning of the latest in a litany of Nicholas Sparks novels brought to the silver screen.    However, unlike his other films, he leaves out any passion, imagination, or entertainment, which, however, are in large part staples of Spark's romantic literary goo.   So in retrospect, he achieved the goal of capturing the spirit and substance, or lack there of.  Josh Duhamel seriously needs to rethink his choice of agents, as he has been cast in a myriad of dribble after his departure from the blockbuster Transformer franchise.  Not that those films were of Oscar caliber , but in comparison to his recent run, they may be.   His leading lady, Julianne Hough, whose largest credit, is the absolutely horrid, reboot of 1980’s camp classic, Footloose, and has about as much energy and chemistry as an empty test tube.  Seriously is there such  a large drought of real actresses that we are dipping into this pool?  The remaining cast is as one dimensional as a black and white postcard from Utah.  The plot is dull and predictable, with many plot devices stolen from such flicks as Sleeping With The Enemy, but they play out as enthralling as a book on tape version of any Software Manual read by Ben Stiller.    Even the relatively unexpected twist at the end is ruined by one of the most mediocre reactions by an actor that I have seen on film.  1 out of 5 Kernels: the only Safe Haven was turning this disaster off and watching a rerun of Friends.  

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