Friday, November 23, 2012
One Minute Movie Review: The Twilight Saga; Breaking Dawn Part II
I viewed this cinematic disasterpiece on Thanksgiving night as an act of devotion to my wonderful wife of twenty years. Of the entire series, this has to be the most lackluster, hackneyed installment and one huge disappointment as closure to the five, what I loosely refer to as, films. I will not, however, deliver any spoilers as requested by my beloved betrothed. Instead I will analyze the good, bad, and ugly of this picture with heavy emphasis on the latter two. The overall acting is stale and unmoving. The story has officially been done to death, no pun intended. The editing is choppy and the ending is one of the most ridiculous since Bobby Ewing woke up in the shower, subtle hint there. The pluses, though limited, are the special effects and Stewart's performance which seems to finally come to life after being transformed into the undead, which is enough irony to make Alanis Morrisette smirk. Still, she is unable to breathe any energy or enthusiasm into the over told story assisted by the remaining cast who deliver the most uninteresting performances of the quintilogy. I have been told the final product was altered to please everyone. Well then epic fail there, as the end result is yet another example of Hollywood's innate ability to beat dead horses to death, no offense PETA. Van Helsing would be proud; no weapon he could have mustered could have neutered the vampire legend better than Stephenie Meyers. The Drac must be rolling over in his frick’n grave like a piece of rotisserie gold. 1 out of 5 Kernels; this outing sucks far more than any creature of the night ever could.