Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Just a Quickie Please: Dolphin Tale 2 Review

If they had used the documentary footage during the end credits of the film instead, this would have been a win.  Instead, we have the privilege of enduring one hundred and seven minutes of stale acting and poor story telling.  This uninspired, after school special production, attempts to pull on the heartstrings but only manages to produce incessant yawns and random wrist tuning for time checks.   I must have literally initiated the status indicator on my Blu-Ray at least every ten minutes hoping and praying more time had elapsed than it felt like with disappointing results with every click of the remote.   How can you make a movie about a dolphin rescue brutally boring?  Ask Charles Martin Smith because he did it with remarkable effectiveness.  Can you believe this is the same guy who brought us such classics as The Untouchables, Never Cry Wolf, and American Graffiti?  He also directed the original dolphin fare which was entertaining, engaging, and quite endearing.  Someone call Verizon because apparently no one can phone it in like Smith, based on this tedious and tiring outing.   0 out of 5 Kernels; a stellar cast and veteran director turn a story of hope and triumph into chum faster than Jaws' lower intestine.

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