Wednesday, September 10, 2014

One Minute Movie Review: Sabotage

This is put simply, just an excuse to fill nearly two hours with excessive amounts profanity, violence and CGI gore.  With a fragmented, at best, script held together with obscenely vulgar sexual references, F-bombs galore, and an abundance of sexists and masochistic dialogue, it appears to be written by a prepubescent fourteen-year-old online gamer toke’d up on Red Bull and Swizzle Sticks.   Schwarzenegger really needs to rethink his career, as a dramatic actor, try not to laugh after reading that, he fails epically and, as an action star, despite his great shape, now possess all the agility of rigor mortis.   Add in the unremarkable, barely lucid remaining, kinda of A-list but mostly B-List cast and you have one steaming cinematic stool sample.  I bet Worthington misses working with just the computer generated version of Arnold; at least that version could act.  Then again, the only version of Sam that seemed to possess any ability was computer animated as well.  And Howard, who seems to be in a casting chaos, has to be kicking himself for abandoning his Rhodey role thanks to his superhero sized ego.  Despite the deliberate attempt of realistic urban combat tactics, this film has all the authenticity of a spray tan liberally applied to an incoherent, nonsensical plot.   Director David Ayer is apparently trying to portray himself as some big screen, hardcore, extreme version of Dick Wolf but lacks the vision, talent, or maturity to do so and the majority, if not all, of his incarnations, are box office Kryptonite.    0 out of 5 Kernels: that's 1 hour 50 minutes I'll never get back, to bad nobody sabotaged my Blu-ray player before I decided to watch this atrocity.  

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