Monday, March 19, 2012

One Minute Movie Review: Abduction

Well, Hollywood thought that it would be a brilliant idea to ride the success of the Eclipse franchise with this vehicle, a so called spy thriller starring wanting werewolf and teen idol Taylor Lautner. Lautner has two ranges in his acting arsenal. One is longing gazes and the second, the ability to remove his shirt in any situation. With that said, one can imagine how fast this becomes a train wreck. The acting was horrid, in fact, they way entire cast phoned this in they must have had an exceptionally good collective Verizon calling plan.  The action sequences were downright silly and the plot was as thin as Angelina Jolie's waistline and predictable as the result of any Lindsey Lohan rehab. Even Sigourney Weaver could not breathe life into this flick, then again, she has not had a remarkable track record as of late. The only way this movie could be saved is to have it totally reworked. Ripley returns to face a horde of alien werewolves and blasts Lautner's lame lycan within the first three seconds of the story. Now that would have been a movie. John Singleton directed this hot, steaming pile of cinematic manure, which is a far fall from his debut in 1991 with the hit Boys N the Hood. They leave room for a sequel because there were apparently no random drug screenings required of the writing staff.  If it is made the Mayan prophecy might come true. 0 out of 5 Kernels; the only way to watch this film is during a power outage.

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