One Minute Movie Review: The Bay

Okay, its official, the POV or first person film production has finally reached the proper level of ad nauseum. So has, the so called, Mockumentary, with all of the authenticity and originality of the concept being unfortunately exhausted by the sheer litany of films released over the last few years.  Those facts are blanatly obvious in this latest incarnation.   Oscar winning director Barry Levinson unsuccessfully tries his hand at this style of cinema with an thoroughly lackluster and outright silly alleged horror story that is very loosely based in sciencetific fact.   To put it in a nutshell, or Isopod Shell, it's just not scary, or even engaging or entertaining.  Instead you end of with almost an hour and a half of unrealistic and tedious narration, found footage that is to clean and well produced to look as such, and zero suspense, thrills, or chills.  The effects look like they were produced by a first year film effects student and the script is so disorganized and disjointed, it simply does not tell the story well.  All of the alleged terror and tension of the premise can not be explored and, therefore, achieve the desired impact on the audience.  Add into that acting that is simply terrible lacking any and all credibility required to pull off this style of movie.   An epic fail for a director who has established himself as a power player in the industry.    0 out of 5 Kernels: in conclusion, the Bay’s attempted frights end up stagnate and the plot about these dangerously still waters run extremely shallow.