Tuesday, August 20, 2013
One Minute Movie Review: G.I Joe: Retaliation
A ridiculously goofy movie with an absolutely ludicrous premise even for a film based on an outlandish cartoon from the 80's. Director John M Chu, whose feature feats include such cinematic awesomeness as Justin Bieber: Never Say Never, (stated with sarcasm so thick it could successfully fill pot holes on the Jersey turnpike), brings us his overly unrealistic envisioning of the heavily commercialized animated series, which I can't believe, is even a possibility. The acting is corny, the action more so, even former wrestler and alleged thespian, the Rock, Dwayne Johnson, is unable to add any energy to this WMD (Work of Mass Disappointment) of a film. The first installment was horrid, this one jettisons, in sheer awfulness, to a whole new level. 0 out of 5 Kernels: the cartoon's PSA tagline used to be, "Now you know, and knowing is half the battle." With that said, consider yourself warned.