Tuesday, August 5, 2014

One Minute Movie Review: Lucy

This is one of the most blatant examples of the cinematic bait and switch I have ever witnessed, as the trailer effectively deceives the viewer into thoroughly believing they are going to see one movie while delivering an utterly inferior and truly disappointing  two-hour symposium that is ridiculously pro evolution.   It is almost as if, the creators, oops Freudian slip there, got together and said, "let's make a hip and cool flick for the kids about Darwinism and layer it with a bunch of really unoriginal special effects and car chase scenes, starring this hot chick, who's not Black Widow, she may be the actress that played her, it may look like her in the beginning, but it's not, cause we will change it up, so its totally doesn't look like Black Widow overdosed on Valium even though it totally does, but it's not Black Widow, it's nothing like her, don't even think it is, cause it's not."  This film is an absolute insult to the range and talent of Johansson, who truly is an astounding actress and very possibly, the next A-List action heroine if the Hollywood elite would "man-up" and take the risk of making such films.  The script is just tedious, laden with B-Roll TLC and Animal Planet cutaways and Freeman droning on and on about the theoretic science behind the film as if we all need a convincing to buy the movie's concept and remain in our thirteen dollar seats.  If that was the case, it was monumentally unsuccessful.   I have such a deep respect for Freeman as a man and thespian, there must have been one hell of a paycheck to sway him to star this steaming pile of primordial soup, note how I worked that in, pretty clever, no?    And by the way, if anyone is wondering, it is far less expensive to film in countries other than America so that is why it seems like every recent movie takes place in either Taiwan, France or, believe it or not, Serbia.   0 out of 5 Kernels; this feature's entertainment value becomes extinct from scene one, but what can you expect from Besson, who's last great Sci-Fi venture was the Fifth Element, and we all know how that worked out.   Hopefully Johansson's career won't take the same hit from this film that Willis' took from that celluloid tragedy.

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