Thursday, December 11, 2014
Just a Quickie Please: Brick Mansions Review
This is the wrong title for this film. It should have been aptly named the House of Cards. Why? Because this stale, exhausting flick quickly and easily collapses under even the slightest intellectual breeze with its ill conceived, trite plot, goofy characters, and ridiculous morality. Not to mention the nauseatingly over indulgent slow motion sequences, that one can only imagine were designed to promote the sheer overdose of annoyingly repetitive parkour. To which this film seems to be a poorly written and acted, wearisome 91 minute promotional spot for. Think Fast and the Furious light as it contains only about 30 minutes of car chases. The remaining hour treats the audience to the most contrite dialogue, unrealistic action fare, that is laughable instead of exciting, and the worst stereotypical manifestations I have ever had the displeasure to sit through. Finish that off with a head scratching storyline that somehow manages to justify kidnapping, drug possession and distribution, potential rape, gangland violence, and murder with a nonsensically moronic ending. It literally sets a new idiotic low in uber liberal ideology. This is director Delamarre's first major movie outing and I would hope her last. Franchises like the Fast and Furious play to the lowest cinematic denominator. Those who will eagerly forgo the quality of script and characters to fulfill their need for over the top FX, impossible car stunts, and ludicrous action sequences that resemble a "method out" version of Cirque du Soleil. This farce emphatically joins that sorry fray. If I could give a negative number, I would ecstatically do so. 0 out of 5 Kernels: to even write this review already lends to much credibility to this celluloid travesty.