Psalm 139:23 & 24
Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my anxious thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Has anyone had the courage to pray like this, because it scares the beans out of me. To ask God to search for any and all iniquity contained in your heart is both an awkward and terrifying request. Many men and women, wiser than I, have stated that we are transparent in front of the Lord. That would mean that God sees directly through us, as if we were invisible. I believe we are not transparent, but fully exposed, an open book, as if God has a MRI of our soul. If God knows everything about us, what would be the need to utter this supplication? This petition has everything to do with us. It is an appeal of unyielding humility and faith, of ultimate obedience to God that demonstrates total trust and confidence in Him. Asking God to find every scrap of corruption within us, to explore areas of our spirit that we have shut off to everyone else, and submit totally to the move of God in every aspect of our life. Requesting God to examine or challenge us, so that our faith may be sharpened and His wisdom unveiled. It is praying that God lead us through the darkest parts of our heart so that we may reach a path of a deeper relationship with Him. God knows us better than we will ever know ourselves. He wants us to come to terms with that, allowing Him to accomplish a marvellous work within us without any resistance from us. What does that resistance to God look like? Try one or more of these on for size and see if any or all fit; I am not a sinful person, but a decent person, God already knows what I am going to say so why pray at all, or if it were that awful God would have dealt with me about it. To answer the latter, He probably has, and it was missed mistaken for misfortune or a lousy day. To understand the need for this conversation with God, we have to understand that sin exists and its determent to our souls. If sin does not exist, if it is just an idea established by the self righteous, then Jesus was born, died, and resurrected for a cliché, a lie. Christ's sacrifice on the cross, not only allowed us forgiveness of sin, but escape from its eternal consequence. Even after grace, sin still exists. We may be forgiven, but sin is a supernatural virus that attempts to regenerate continuously. We all have issues with sin, some unconscious, some we refuse to accept. Those issues must be left at the altar of God before we can proceed further into a relationship with our maker. It is only when we recognize the necessity of the Lord's intervention in every facet of our existence that we begin to be refined and molded by Him. We can not hold anything back from God even if we think we can it is ignorance not reality. We can, however, hold God back from working powerfully in our lives, by our resistance. Who loses out then? Now I could explain sin in its various forms, but that would be wholly useless. We know what sin is and notice its effects when we allow it to influence our lives, and if not, we are in bigger trouble than we first imagined. God gives us the discernment to know when we not only step, or many times sprint, into the sin minefield. God wants us to avoid the explosions, shrapnel, and destruction that accompany. Why do we, time after time, resist Him? God knows our humanity and comprehends that we need this passage if only to realize the only protection we have from, sin, or ourselves, is grace. Do you dare to have God search you and deal with you inner most fears, desires, and pain? Could you ask God to try you, to strengthen your faith? God never forsakes us or gives us more than He can handle through us. The only fear is the possibility of losing control. That is a control that is more of an illusion than reality. God bless.
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