#JustaQuickiePlease: Birdman Review

Pretentious, absolutely pretentious in every manner possible, and that is from one of the most die hard fans of the Keaton.  From the opening scene to credit roll this script finds new and irritating ways to be precocious.  Now, the most committed denizens of the theater will cream their collective bloomers at this overtly critical and annoyingly contrite perspective of the purity and suffering of stage versus the contemptible capitalismic crap of cinema and its braggadocios, soulless blockbusters.  But for us peons, this ends up being a self-indulgent and arrogantly artistic piece that serves no other purpose but to create ire and resentment toward every character and line of its vainglorious script.   Despite trying with all of my heart, I was unable to derive the slightest iota of sympathy for any individual member of this ensemble as each one tries to best the other in self-righteous pomp and detest.    The only redeeming facet of this psychological and cynical drama, are the talent and performances of the troop.  Keaton delivers an odious, decrepit, and defunct celebrity who slowly and assuredly loses his mind and every relationship that he may or may not have held dear.   Norton gives all of himself, as I fear his portrayal may have been more of and about him than he would care to admit.  The remaining cast does the best it can with this egocentric script, but there are only so many eloquent ways you can present the myriad of F-Bombs that plague this farce.  Add to that incessant drum beats meant to generate an avant-garde and soulful feel but instead simply irritate and repetitive dialogue that prolong the story far more than necessary.  I end this review with a pain that reaches deep down into my spirit and tugs with all of the remorse and care of a psychotic dentist removing a rotten tooth without the aid of anesthetic or preparation as all expectation and fandom was excavated with that level of vim and violence. 1 out of 5 Kernels: This Oscar gold loses its shine and shimmer quickly.